Star Wars: Episode VII Round Table Reactions

The first teaser trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens was released the day after Thanksgiving. Now, after settling down a bit, here’s what we thought.

 

Andy: The Star Wars trailer had its ups and downs. The best part was it was Star Wars. It looked like Star Wars, it felt like Star Wars and there was no sign of Jar Jar mucking up my scenery. There were X-wings, there were droids, and there was Tatooine. This felt like the trilogy (and if you tell me there are 6, then you are either too young or too dumb to continue reading).

There were a couple of disappointing things about the trailer. There seemed to be no advance in the tech. They were still fighting in X-Wings and using land cruisers. Just as an example, look at any war America has been in. We have come up with some rather inventive ways to murder one another. These guys gave had thirty years to advance their tech and they just don’t have it in the trailer.

The other thing that bugged me seems to be the thing that many are so excited about. The lightsaber broadsword (I like that my good friends at Google had “lightsaber” programmed in my phone). The appearance gives it an incredible look, but there’s something about the two blades on the handle that doesn’t make sense to me. To quote an icon “you’ll poke your eye out, kid.” It just doesn’t make sense. I need to see it in action.

The trailer did one thing though. I am excited for this movie more than just about anything else next year.

Mike: Man oh man, it was a super early Christmas when they released the new Star Wars teaser trailer. I’m still cleaning up the nerdgasm stains of the living room rug.

My mind went a mile a minute trying to figure out what what was going on. Why was that storm trooper not a clone? Did the clone factory break? I hope so, because that was bad for the galactic economy.

Why was this non cloned stormtrooper he sweating and breathing heavily? (Other than being in a desert planet) Maybe he’s a good guy. Or maybe he’ll find Boba Fett’s regurgitated armor just outside of the sarlacc pit and be the next trilogy’s bad ass bounty hunter.

So blowing up two Death Stars and throwing the Emperor into a nuclear reactor didn’t end the rebellion? No surprise. Most governments have a chain of command.

Who was the gravely voice? Is it the ghost of the Emperor? Was it a new Sith lord? If it was, then where’d he (she?) come from? What’s his (her?) deal? Does that person have a stupid red pattern and needless horns coming out of their head? I hope not.

There were the X-Wings, Tie Fighters and the Millennium Falcon! Whoever was flying that huge rust bucket was maneuvering too fast for it to be Solo. Although he’s crafty and has a few tricks up his sleeve.

Where the hell was Chewie?

And forget about the three-bladed lightsaber, who was in the hood? If Luke has been in hiding for 30 years, then it could be him. He struggled against the Dark Side in RoTJ. He used the force choke on a guard at Jabba’s palace and damn near killed his father in the final battle.

Yes, that went through my mind the first 15 times I’ve watched the trailer. (I’ve watched it 10 more times since I began writing this.)

The teaser trailer worked on me. But, I must admit, all teaser trailers Star Wars films (and some of the video games) work on me. I was excited about the Phantom Menace only to be disappointed in the theater. It’s hard for me not to get excited because it’s new Star Wars.

Two big takeaways from the teaser trailer though. The first being the sets we saw were extremely simple, unlike the sets in Episodes I-III. It didn’t have the Lucas touch: cramming worthless CGI characters in the background.

The second takeaway? Just like you mentioned, Andy, the trailer felt like Star Wars. That’s what we want to see. A Star Wars movie that feels like Star Wars.

Jonathan: The new Star Wars trailer almost slipped under my radar. It sounds sad, I know, considering what our website is all about, but I have been busy lately with life getting in the way of fun things. I finally watched the trailer a couple of days ago. In fact, I watched it four times. And after four times, I guess I have to play Debbie Downer and rain on everyone’s parade.

First, as a teaser it did its job. It teased a lot about what we may or may not see in a full theatrical release trailer; then we will have a lot more to discuss. Of course, the job of the teaser is to get us asking a million different questions. However, it didn’t get me excited as I was hoping it would and I don’t have questions or cares.

Black stormtrooper? Cool. If I can accept Wookies, green aliens, and the Force then I can accept a black stormtrooper, a green one, and a blue stormtrooper. I was expecting to see some spacecrafts whipping and zooming around. I did like the Sith Jedi (maybe?) walking into the Game of Thrones forest.

What gave me Star Wars wood, and it started when it was announced there would be more Star Wars films, is the movies are being made and we have the footage to prove it. If it were up to George Lucas the movies would come out right around the time my children and grandchildren would be putting me in the ground. The other thing I really liked was no mention of George Lucas. I am so jazzed someone, anyone, that is not Lucas is doing the film. Let’s be honest, Lucas could fuck up a wet dream.

It was a cool little 88 seconds to fire up the Star Wars nerd engine, but it did not give me full Star Wars wood.

Mike, I have to agree on being excited for Phantom Menace trailer and then the movies sucking the life out of the Force. The only difference is the Phantom Menace came out decades after The Empire Strikes Back. Lucas could have crapped out a teaser and we all would have been mondo excited. The new one comes out after months of Star Wars movie talk and a lot of Clone Wars cartoons. Star Wars hasn’t left the the entertainmentscape like it had in the past.