You’re Not Yelping

After a week off, South Park returned with “You’re Not Yelping,” a satirical look at the review service’s hardcore users.

Of all the jokes, the one thing the episode nailed was the mob mentality people have on that site.

Go back and find the Yelp listing of the Northeastern bed and breakfast that tried to charge $500 to their clients if the business was reviewed poorly (that’s shitty). Hell, look at the Yelp profile for that dentist who shot Cecil the lion a few months back (that’s super shitty).

Most of those negative reviews are from people who never went to that dentist, nor did they stay at that bed in breakfast. They flocked to the site to degrade an action and policy they didn’t agree with. Last time I checked, both of those businesses were still open.

But back to the episode.

Cartman and a billion other people think they’re the number one food critic in South Park, frequenting the new restaurants in Historic Shi Tpa Town. These Yelpers think people are hanging on every food review.

These so-called “food critics” have an inflated sense of self. While Cartman, and others, use their Yelper status to get food, others invest way too much time generating needless reviews.

Gerald Broflovski, Kyle’s dad, is the perfect example, spending countless hours crafting reviews with elegance and grace. We see Gerald forgoing family time with Sheila and Ike to spend time in his study, at the computer wearing a smoking jacket and smoking a pipe.

The Yelper’s dominance is short lived. A local restaurant manager gets fed up with their constant neediness and kicks them out. This starts a chain reaction where none of the Yelpers are allowed in any of the restaurants.

Cartman, who’s been pestering David, a Hispanic kid, freaks at his loss of self and tries to organize the Yelpers. He believes he’s their leader, and tries to organize the masses of excommunicated food critics.

This leads to the funniest line in the episode. Looking from his bedroom window, Cartman says “I can’t believe this many people waste time writing food reviews.”

His message doesn’t get through as every Yelper believes they’re the leader of the group. Regardless, this starts the mob mentality and turns Shi Tpa Town into a warzone.

David, frustrated with Cartman’s antics, challenges the “leader” to a fist fight. When he shows up, it’s not David against Cartman. It’s David against all the town’s Yelpers.

While it wasn’t a funny scene, it had a point. David, maybe Kyle, asked what they wanted. At that moment, each Yelper started their own monologue. What ensued wasn’t a coherent message, but an earful of noise.

Surprise, when everyone’s looking for their voice to be heard on a single platform, they end up drowning each other out.

The conflict is solved when the Mayor creates a bogus ceremony for each Yelper, identifying each as the most important food critic in South Park. The award comes with a badge and a promise to get special service at every restaurant in town.

And then we’re shown a special song that should serve as a warning to anyone who hasn’t worked in the food service industry. Fuck with the people who handle your food and get a belly full of boogers and cum. Catchy tune.

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