Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Heroes on a Half Baked Shell

    Some movies were meant to be dark. Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy would not have worked if Batman had nipples on his suit, There Will Be Blood’s Daniel Plainview would have been another crazy if the movie was lighter in tone and feel, and Seven’s John Doe would have been another run-of-the-mill serial killer in anyone’s hands besides David Fincher. Some critics, and fan boys, have argued Man of Steel was unnecessarily dark. They argue because Superman wears a blue suit, a red cape, and fights for the American way the movie shouldn’t have been dark. I would counter argue when aliens are set on destroying life as we know it the four-color comicbook approach should be ignored.
            However, there is no reason why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake should be dark in tone or brooding. First, it’s the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. These are turtles mutated in a sewer and yell “Cowabunga, Dude!” By making the movie something darker than the Turtles ever were seems forced and screams that the director is trying to join the edgier comicbook movies. The Turtles are not the Watchmen and it’s not Sin City.
            I am basing all of this on the trailer, but if the movie is trying to be dark and gritty the attempts at comedy should have never been filmed. Yes, there were some moments through out the Dark Knight Trilogy that made people laugh. However, it was gallows humor. So, the problem with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is that it wants to be a dark movie, but keep the same corny humor from the cartoons and the previous movies. The two simply do not work together. I usually don’t judge a movie before it has hit theatres, but this one looks like a mess from the start.
            My only other questions would be: 1) Why did the awesome William Fichtner (The Dark Knight) agree to do this movie? And 2) Why do turtles need to wear masks?

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