A Mind on Fire https://www.amindonfire.com Books, Movies, TV and Whatever Tue, 08 Jan 2019 02:33:07 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8 https://www.amindonfire.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/favicon-150x150.png A Mind on Fire https://www.amindonfire.com 32 32 A Clockwork Orange Gets the Mezco Toys Treatment https://www.amindonfire.com/a-clockwork-orange-mezco-toyz/ Tue, 08 Jan 2019 02:33:07 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9746 Mezco Toyz likes A Clockwork Orange so much they released two versions of its Alex DeLarge figure. We take a look at the trimmed down 12-inch version of the figure.

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A Clockwork Orange was met with a chilly reception upon its original release. Roger Ebert called the movie a “an ideological mess, a paranoid right-wing fantasy.” Pauline Kael, who seemed to have never liked any of the movies she reviewed, called the movie “an abhorrent viewing experience.” Kael called Kubrick a pornographer more than once in her review. She also said the acting was terrible and complained about the pacing of the film.

Crimes of all sorts were blamed on Kubrick and his movie. Parents, church groups, and every group in between called for the movie to be banned. Although the movie was a box-office success and some critics liked the movie,Vincent Canby called the movie “an essentially British nightmare” and said the movie was “beautiful to look at and to hear that it dazzles the senses and the mind,” Kubrick still pulled the movie from wide circulation in England.

A lot has changed in the almost forty eight years since A Clockwork Orange premiered. The movie is considered a classic. The bleak dystopian nightmare portrayed in the movie has been mimicked by more than one movie. People, celebrities and normal folk alike, dress up like Alex for Halloween with no regards for the evil the character represents. Toy companies now make figures based on the movie.

Mezco Toys recently released two 12-inch figures based on the character of Alex DeLarge. The one not being shown falls under Mezco’s One:12 Collective collection. The One:12 Alex Delarge is a figure on steroids. It stands 12 inches tall, but has more accessories and articulation than the figure being reviewed. It’s an awesome figure and if you can afford the price tag it would make a nice addition to any collection.

Mezco also released a trimmed down version of the One:12 version. It may have fewer accessories, less articulation, and comes without the stitched clothing, but it’s still an excellent figure. It also has a price tag ($39-44, depending on where you find it) many of us can afford.

Without further delay, the Mezo A Clockwork Orange review:

Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz.

Don’t worry about breakage. The box is secure and packaged very nicely.

Alex Delarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz.

A professional photographer with professional equipment took the picture for the back of the box. You won’t get their shot and my pictures confused.

Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz

Two plastic trays and a sheet of plastic protect your figure from breakage and scratches that may occur during shipping.

Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz

The figure may lack the articulation a lot collectors like to see in a figure, but we don’t mind when the figure looks this good.

Alex Delarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toys

The face sculpt has amazing detail. Notice Alex’s smirk.

Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz

No detail was overlooked when creating the Alex figure. The opposite sleeve has a different colored eye ball.

Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz

Notice the creases and folds in the clothes. Who knew Alex has such tight buns?

Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange by Mezco Toyz

The one other accessory, besides the cane with hidden knife, is the mask Alex wears during the movie’s notorious rape scene.

 

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The Yuletide Horror of Saint Nick https://www.amindonfire.com/yuletide-horror-saint-nick/ Mon, 24 Dec 2018 03:02:11 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9708 We review Saint Nick just in time to make your wintery nights a little more chilly or...chilling.

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Oh, how we love a good Christmas tale. We love Christmas tales that warm the heart, but we also love Christmas tales that chill the blood. Saint Nick almost fits the bill for some holiday horrors.

First, don’t confuse Saint Nick, aka Sinterklass, with Santa Claus. Saint Nick was never the first toy maker to the king and never lived at the North Pole. Nick actually hails from Turkey via Spain. Instead of reindeer Sinterklass gets a little help from Zwarte Piet (translated into English as Black Peter) and the gang of Pieten. Gifts are given to the good children while bad children get coal in their shoes, not in their stockings.

Why are we telling you all of this Saint Nick background? Because the Nick in Saint Nick isn’t holly nor is he jolly. Way back in the day Amsterdam villagers had enough of his evil ways. Banding together the village offed Saint Nick and his crew condemning them to their ship. They all thought everything was going to be okay, but little did they realize every December 5th when there’s a full moon Saint Nick comes back to kill at will. Saint Nick doesn’t care who’s been naughty or nice.

A little girl is excited for the arrival of Saint Nick

Saint Nick (aka Saint) takes place on one of those full moon December 5th nights. It starts off on a rather ghoulish note. In the winter of 1968 Nick and his gang slaughter an entire family. Fast forward another thirty something years and a full moon later Saint Nick is back in town.

Saint Nick lulls you into the false believe that you are about to watch a horror movie. It’s natural to think the movie you are watching is going to be a full blown horror movie after you see an entire family being killed. Saint Nick though comes across more of a comedy movie than a horror movie.

The movie has the required teenager quotient to adult ratio required for horror movies of this kind. It’s nice to see teenagers not taking over a horror movie like in other horror movies. In fact, most of the teens are killed off by Saint Nick in the first act of the movie. Only Frank, who is accused of the murders occurring in Amsterdam, makes it through the movie.

Death from above in the form of Saint Nick

A wrongly accused Frank teams up with Amsterdam police officer Goert Hoekstra. Hoekstra believes in the evil Saint Nick myth so deeply his investigations sideline his career. The disgraced cop who teams up with someone outside the police force for (insert various reasons here) is an over used cliche. It doesn’t work here anymore than it has in the dozens and dozens of movies that have used the same cliche.

In the second act of the movie there’s a pretty cool chase scene involving cops and Saint Nick. It’s one of the high lights of the movie that leads to the final showdown between Frank, Saint Nick, and an Amsterdam tactical team armed to the teeth. Of course, Frank wins the fight but not before Hoekstra dies.

Frank rides with the cops while they chase Saint Nick

What makes Saint Nick a little different from the rest of the Santa Claus as a killer movies is the larger conspiracy playing throughout the movie. While Frank and Hoekstra are fighting to save Amsterdam the big wigs in the government are busy keeping things quiet. By the end of the movie Saint Nick hadn’t killed anyone. It was a building fire and a serial killer cop responsible for a lot of deaths.

Saint Nick may not scare you. You may also laugh at scenes the director never intended to be comical and you may find some of the scenes either not gory enough or too gory. It’s still a fun, short movie. If anything its time away from the typical Hallmark Christmas movies flooding the networks this time of the year.

A victim of Saint Nick

Don’t lose your head, it’s only Christmas time.

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The Psychedelic Revenge of Panos Cosmatos’s Mandy https://www.amindonfire.com/the-psychedelic-revenge-of-panos-cosmatoss-mandy/ Mon, 17 Dec 2018 02:51:10 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9682 When you make as many movies a year as Nicolas Cage does one of them is bound to stick. One of those movies to stick is Mandy.

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Mandy is the latest movie by Panos Cosmatos. Cosmatos’s last film was 2010’s Beyond the Black Rainbow. For the uninitiated Beyond the Black Rainbow is a  psychedelic trip of a girl escaping from a hospital. Rainbow has the feel of a movie filmed in the late 60’s using 21st century equipment with an 80’s electronic synth soundtrack. Cosmatos’s new movie is cut from the same clothe as Beyond the Black Rainbow.

Red, played by Nicolas Cage, is a lumberjack who lives with his girlfriend Mandy (Andrea Riseborough, Nocturnal Animals). The two live in an idyllic forest living out their days reading, cutting down trees, and talking about planets. Things could go on this way for a long time, but their peace is shattered after Jeremiah Sand takes a shine to Mandy. Sand is a cult leader and a former folk singer. Apparently, Sand isn’t good at either one. He never made it as a singer and has only 6 followers in his cult.

Mandy bathed in bright colors is still a grizzly revenge movie

The psychedelic blasts of oranges and blues start as soon as Red walks out of the forest from his logging job. Is it a sign that something bad is going to soon happen? That would be one argument if the bright colors and lights started only after Red starts his quest for revenge.

Unlike a lot of revenge and home invasion movies there’s an actual reason why Jeremiah Sand has his eyes set on Mandy. It’s a totally messed up reason only a madman could rationalize, but it’s a reason. Jeremiah wants to have sex with her because his current “wife” isn’t doing it for him anymore. Mandy, drugged with a high dose of LSD, laughs off his advances. It does not end well for Mandy.

Jeremiah Sands, crazy cult leader in Mandy

Mandy is a violent movie. The bright colors, blasts of light, and trippy scenes don’t do anything to lessen the intensity of the gore and violence in the movie. In fact, the bright colors only highlight the blood and violence. Mandy is also a hallucination of a revenge movie.

Red is forced to watch Mandy be burned in front of him. The hippy kid gloves come off soon afterwards. Red’s path of vengeance lasts the rest of the movie. The rest of the movie is a violent storm surrounded by bright lights, slow motion shots, and extreme close ups.

Nicolas Cage as Red in Mandy

Blacksmith, logger, and lover. Red can do it all.

Red is perhaps Nicolas Cage’s best role since his highly publicized financial meltdown. Cage doesn’t have a lot of lines in the movie so he has to rely on the one other skills he possess as an actor- his incredibly over the top facial expressions. These expressions are on full display. In Mandy, unlike some of his other movies, his facial expressions, groans, and screams convey more than any line could ever do.

You’ll be inclined to think Mandy is a great movie. It’s definitely a unique movie. The already mentioned psychedelic trips automatically puts it ahead of most of the movies in the revenge genre. Spliced between scenes are title cards introducing characters. Even more unique for a revenge movie are the movie’s animated scenes.

If we take away the bright colors and psychedelic distractions we’ll find Mandy is just another revenge movie albeit a very cool looking revenge movie. In the end it’s still a revenge movie that will appeal mainly to Cosmatos fans. The typical fan of the revenge movie won’t be interested in the art house feel of a genre known mainly for blood and guts.

Mandy title card

 

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Arrow Video Releases Twelve Monkeys On Blu-Ray https://www.amindonfire.com/arrow-video-releases-twelve-monkeys-on-blu-ray/ Sat, 15 Dec 2018 02:51:46 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9618 Arrow Video has given Terry Gilliam's science fiction classic Twelve Monkeys the 4K treatment.

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DVDs and Blu Rays may not be selling like they did a few years ago. The decline in sales has everything to do with the rise of streaming serives like Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon. Sales may see a further decline in the future when new streaming services from Disney and Warner are at full strength.

The folding of FilmStruck (Criterion has announced a new service starting in 2019) has made one thing clear, “If you want to preserve your favorite films, and you’re a cinema lover, than Blu-ray or DVD is the way to go.” Of course digitizing and formatting a movie for streaming, and presuming the movie will never be lost in a Skynet like Internet crash, is the ultimate in movie preservation. But will you always have access to it?

Odds are every movie in every Marvel movie phase will be available for streaming no matter where you or what device you may have access to at the moment. FilmStruck was aimed more towards the true fan of cinema, but as the closing of FilmStruck has painfully shown you’re not going to have access to every movie whenever you want.

By preserving movies we mean for your collection or for anytime you have to watch a movie than Blu-ray or DVD is the way to go. You will always have access to the movie no matter if you have an Internet connection or not. True, you will not be able to watch the movie on a phone or a tablet. That’s fine. Movies were not meant to be watched on a small screen or an iPad.

There are a few companies bringing great DVDs and Blu-rays to the market. Criterion, Kino Lorber, and Arrow Video are a few of the bigger names bringing films to the masses. These reviews are for the cinema lover and the film fan who still buy physical media and if we get other people to climb aboard than so much more the better.

TWELVE MONKEYS

“The Future is history.”

Arrow Video, established in 1991, restores and redistributes a wide arrange of movies. Whereas the Criterion Collection is focused more on classic movies, Arrow Video’s catalog ranges from Gailo horror classics like The Bird with the Crystal Plumage to classics like The Apartment to little seen independent movies like The Addiction. Arrow Video recently released onto Blu-ray Terry Gilliam’s 1996 sci-fi classic Twelve Monkeys.

The Movie:

James Cole (Bruce Willis) is a prisoner from the future sent back in time to track the spread of a virus responsible for killing most of the human population. Once back in the future Cole develops a relationship with Dr. Kathryn Railly, played by Madeline Stowe, and the two track down a seriously deranged Jeffrey Goines, played by Brad Pitt.

Twelve Monkeys is a movie of time travel, love, and serious mental issues. Is everything happening going on in Cole’s head. Maybe Cole is crazy. Maybe everything we’re seeing are the ramblings of mad man.

Twelve Monkeys Blu-Ray released by Arrow Vidoe

The other possibility is it’s all true and people will start dying in late 1996. One of the last scenes of the movies is Dr. Peters, played by David Morse, boarding a plane with his briefcase full of viruses. What’s even more interesting to consider is no matter what Cole does or who he calls in the future Dr. Peters will always unleash his virus into the world.

No matter which point of view you take the one thing that is true is Gilliam has crafted a modern science fiction masterpiece.

The Packaging: Be honest. The first thing you notice about any product is the packaging. Arrow Video has done a good job packaging Twelve Monkeys.The cover art blends the iconic Twelve Monkeys logo (A clock with monkeys for numbers) with a giant monkey face in the middle. The “12 Monkeys” written in white pop off on the red background.

Inside, of course, is the disc. The disc art is of television screens with faces on them, a nod to the television monitors the doctors of the future use when interrogating Cole.

Inside the case is a booklet with a nice article, “The Audacity of Hopelessness: Twelve Monkeys’ Grim Vision of the Future and the Present,” by Nathan Rabin. We won’t break down the article, but it’s well worth the read. There’s also an excerpt from Ian Christie’s Gilliam on Gilliam.

Special Features: Unfortunately, the special features are lacking on the Arrow release. The Gilliam and producer Charles Rosen commentary is the same one found on the previous Blu-ray edition.

The Hamster Factory and Other Tales of Twelve Monkeys is also found on the previous Blu-ray edition. It’s an interesting documentary about the making of Twelve Monkeys and worth watching if you have never seen it before.

There’s also a 1996 interview with Gilliam at the London Film Festival. It’s your basic interview set up with nothing earth shattering revealed in the Q&A.

Inside case of Arrow Video's release of Twelve Monkeys

The one new special feature is an appreciation of the film by Ian Christie. The appreciation doesn’t add anything new to the conversation. In fact, it sounds like Christie is rehashing everything from the documentary and from the interview. How many times do you have to hear Twelve Monkeys was based on Chris Marker’s La Jetee?

The real feature is the 4K restoration of the movie. You do not need a 4K TV or player to play the disc. The 4K process was done during the restoration process. You may not have a 4K TV but you will still get the benefit of a better quality picture and the original aspect ratio. Previous DVD and Blu-ray releases will pale in comparison.

Final Verdict: With nothing new to offer except a 4K restoration Arrow Video’s Twelve Monkeys will only appeal to the Twelve Monkeys’ fan who needs the best picture possible. Owners of previous Blu-ray editions are probably not going to rush out and get what is basically the same thing they already have at home.

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Christmas Horror Movies For The Yuletide Season https://www.amindonfire.com/christmas-horror/ Mon, 10 Dec 2018 23:25:10 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9616 If you love Christmas and love horror movies then you'll love our review of The Elf and Christmas Evil

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CHRISTMAS, IT’S THE MOST TERRIFYING TIME OF THE YEAR

Traditional Christmas movies are boring. If you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. Your basic, traditional Christmas movie goes something like this:

Main character loses the spirit of Christmas because of divorce/a break up/or something devastating happens. As a result, Main Character hates Christmas. In the second act, Main character goes through another transformation because of new love/meets someone/something mysterious happens. In the third act, Main Character finds the true meaning of Christmas and lives happily ever after.

It’s a boring formula, but one Hollywood turns to time and time again. It’s a formula Hollywood knows will get people’s eyes on their product. Maybe this is why we like Christmas movies that tend to break this formula while comfortably staying in the formula.

Christmas movies like Elf, The Santa Clause, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas fit into the formula but with enough of a twist we enjoy them year after year. Then there are movies like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, and It’s A Wonderful that don’t fit the formula at all. These movies took the spirit of Christmas, family, and made it their own. Finally, there’s a little sub-genre we call Christmas Horror.

Christmas horror movies take all the feel good stuff of the season and throws it out a window. Classics like Black Christmas to new classics like Krampus and All Through the House remind us not every one has a holly, jolly Christmas.

The Elf (2017)

The Elf, not to be confused with the much more lighthearted and family friendly Elf, is a low budget horror movie. Low budget doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Low budget simply means film makers have less to work with than if you were making a movie for a studio. Low budget doesn’t have to mean bad, but in the case of The Elf that’s exactly what it means.

The Elf on the shelf in the Christmas horror movie The Elf

The Elf, from the very start, is a confusing movie. It’s not confusing in a David Lynch kind of way, but confusing because the movie never really explains itself. We meet Nick and Valeria at a thrift store. Did the couple buy a thrift store? Victoria randomly finds information on a toy maker. Did the couple buy a toy store?

For some random reason, Nick wanders into a room to discover a chest. Of course, Nick unlocks the chest. Inside the chest is a toy elf holding a knife, a naughty list, and a set of rules. It’s not a game, but it’s set up as a game. Except, the rules are never enforced in the movie.

Only after the elf has killed a lot of people do we learn Nick knew what the elf was the whole time. Apparently his family had been cursed with the elf generations ago. The elf we’re told is killing people on the naughty list found in the box. Except, Victoria and her parents are not related to Nick and neither are the two people from town invited to Victoria’s Christmas party. Either a way, a killer elf isn’t information you suddenly remember after your girlfriend’s parents are murdered by a wooden elf.

Looking at an elf in Christmas horror movie The Elf

There are so many problems with The Elf it’s difficult to keep track of them all. Victoria and Nick are going to be married. Victoria says more than once she doesn’t know anything about Nick, but she went on a road trip with him and even invited her parents to finally meet him. Nick later wonders how Victoria’s parents knew where he lived. It’s a good question but the answer is vague at best. Either Victoria knew in advance where Nick lived and he was going to open a chest that would result in people being killed or it’s a leap in logic the director hopes no one will notice. We figure it’s the latter.

There’s a  better story in The Elf  than what we are allowed to see or what was ever put in the script. After several deaths, Nick tells Victoria an urban legend the town used to scare kids. The Keeper of Souls would take children from their homes to the underworld. In the underworld the children would live and be used in what sounds like combat type games. The Keeper of Souls may or may not have possessed the elf. The viewer never really gets a good explanation how the whole thing works.

A demon who possesses a toy elf every Christmas so it can steal children is a movie we would love to have seen. Instead we are treated to a movie full of plot holes, leaps in logic, bad acting, and nonsense the director hopes no one will notice.

Avoid this movie like a Christmas fruit cake.

Christmas Evil (1980)

Troma Films is not known for high brow art films. This is the company that brought us Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead and The Toxic Avenger. It’s hard to argue Troma’s catalog of movies is anything but low budget silly messes. Tasteless and trashy may come to mind when you think of Troma films, but there are a few exceptions to the rule.

Christmas Evil goes somewhat against the grain of most Santa Claus as a killer movies. Young Harry Stadling, the future Santa Claus killer, learns the hard way that Santa Claus is either not real or someone who had sex with his mother under the family’s Christmas tree. We get an explanation much later in the movie, but whatever the case may be it was enough to send Harry down the wrong path in life.

Santa making the moves on mom in Christmas Evil

Santa’s hoping she’s been really naughty

Adult Harry, now working at a toy company, keeps a list of all the good and bad boys and girls in his neighborhood. He also spies on them from his bedroom window. It’s definitely a stalker move, but if you think about it this is exactly what the real Santa Claus does throughout the year. Except, Harry has a major break from reality.

Unlike the Santas in those other movies, Harry is a firm believer in the code of naughty and nice. This code is what really sets Christmas Evil apart from movies like Silent Night, Deadly Night or Santa’s Slay. The Santas in those movies kill for no rhyme or reason. Harry may be misguided, but in his own way he is trying t keep the spirit of Christmas alive.

Santa breaks into a house in Christmas Evil

Harry’s code is exactly like Saint Nick’s policy. Harry rewards the good and punishes the bad. He kills the yuppies leaving the church who mock him and he later kills his co-worker who cons him into taking his night shift at the toy factory. He spares his coworkers who are giving gifts to children at the company’s Christmas party. He leaves dirt for the one of the children on his naughty list.

Christmas Evil may not be a hardcore slasher film like All Through the House, but it has heart. Heart in any Christmas movie goes a long way. It’s a definite must see for the ending alone. Does Harry really fly to the moon in his van or is he doomed to crash into the icy river?

Christmas Evil also stars the great character actor Jeffrey DeMunn (The Shawshank Redemption, The Walking Dead, Billions) as Harry’s brother.

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Robin Hood As A Comic Book Movie https://www.amindonfire.com/robin-hood-comic-book-movie/ Tue, 27 Nov 2018 01:39:57 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9549 We saw Robin Hood 2018. We deeply regret our mistake, but are offering this review as warning to others.

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The Modernization of Robin Hood 2018

You liked Taron Egerton in the Kingsman movies. Let’s be honest, the Kingsman movies are probably the only Egerton movies most people have seen. It makes sense in today’s movie market that most people would have only seen those two movies. They were full of action, explosions, and spectacle. Based on the box office receipts it would also make sense to cast Egerton as Robin Hood.

There’s no reason to break down the story. The tale of Robin Hood is well known to every child. They can tell you how he stole from the rich and gave to the poor, how he and his Merry Men, Little John, Will Scarlet, and Friar Tuck, tormented the Sheriff of Nottingham, Sir Guy of Gisborne, and Prince John. They can tell you how Robin dared to come out of hiding to compete in an archery contest for the hand of Maid Marian.

Ben Mendelsohn in Robin Hood 2018

Clothes by Versace. Hair by Eber. Bad dialog by whoever wrote this nonsense of a script.

Robin Hood 2018 has been “updated” compared to previous movies. Updated is a relative term. The time period is similar to other Robin Hood movies and Robin was in the Crusades (which begs the question why did he need training if he went off to fight in the Crusades, but this is not a piece on the historical inaccuracies of a CGI filled movie), but the rest is basically a garbage excuse to throw a lot of CGI at the audience.

While the time may be the same very little else in the movie would have you convinced you were watching a movie set in a medieval time period. The sets, costumes, and over the top action sequences have been updated for an audience that has become trained to see movies through a comic book lens.

A comic book analogy is the best description for Robin Hood. Robin plays a duel role in the movie. One is a noble and the other is the guy who robs from the rich and gives to the poor. Robin is basically a medieval Batman. However, a rich guy dressing up as a bat to fight crime is more believable than anything coming from this movie.

Robin Hood strikes a pose

I’m Batm…I mean Robin Hood.

If there was ever a case of a movie no one wanted and no one asked for it would be Robin Hood. What movies weren’t made because studio heads thought this was the movie to bring to theaters? It’s one of the worst cinema crimes a studio could commit.

There has to be better movies about Robin Hood than what’s in the movie theaters right now. Right? Let’s see.

ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (1991)

What can we say about Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves that hasn’t already been said? We could mention how Costner’s English accent comes and goes, but that’s already been talked about in depth by other writers and reviewers. We could mention how the dialog switches from casual speak into flowery English prose. We could even ask whose bright idea it was to cast Christian Slater as Will Scarlet. We could say something about the Sheriff of Nottingham attempting to rape Marian at the end of the movie and why would anyone try to make rape funny.

RH:PoT has all the hallmarks of a really bad movie, but was it a bad movie? It all depends on your point of view. There are long shots of Kevin Costner, there are medium shots of Costner looking noble, and one embarrassing long shot of Costner swimming in a pond, naked. If you like a lot Kevin Costner you’ll like RH:PoT because it’s basically a Kevin Costner puff piece.

Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Why do all these Robin Hoods have great hair?

RH:PoT is a great movie if you’re an Alan Rickman fan. Rickman’s acting, as is the case with many of his villainous roles, is over the top. He steals almost every scene. In Prince of Thieves, Rickman masters the art of hamming it up. This is not the Rickman from Die Hard or the one pre-teens would come to like in the Harry Potter movies.

Is RH:PoT a bad movie? Yes, yes it is a bad movie and it is best left alone.

ROBIN HOOD (1991)

Patrick Bergin (Mountains of the Moon, Love Crimes) took on the role of Robin Hood in John Irvin’s 1991 production. Some elements from the original Robin Hood ballads can be found in this interpretation. Robin fights Little John (a younger and almost unrecognizable David Morrissey) only to become friends, the arrow competition is altered but remains in the story, and Robin’s surname is Hode as found in the original tales. A lot though has been changed for the movie.

Bergin’s Robin doesn’t lose his lands because they were seized by a corrupt official while he was away on the Crusades. In this version, Robin loses his lands and becomes an outlaw because he insulted Sir Miles Falconet (Jurgen Prochnow, Das Boot) and Baron Roger Daguerre.

Patrick Bergin as Robin Hood

The Falconet and Daguerre characters were never in the original Robin Hood tales and should have never been created for the movie. These two characters were created for the sole purpose of adding some “history” to the movie. However, any history of Saxons and Normans was lost in the overall ridiculousness of the movie.

Irvin’s Robin Hood is more comedic than what the director intended. The action scenes come off on screen as more Keystone cops than knights trying to stop an outlaw. The final scene of Normans, Saxons, rich people, and poor all coming together to live happily ever after is one of the lesser silly scenes in the movie.

You would be better off hiding in any forest than to watch this movie.

ROBIN HOOD (2010)

Ridley Scott brought a version of Robin Hood to the big screen in 2010. Except the outlaw to be in this version isn’t Robin of Loxley, but Robin Longstride. Longstride (Russell Crowe) impersonates Loxley long enough to escape France and return Loxley’s sword to his father who lives in Nottingham.

From the moment Longstride meets the elder Loxley Robin Hood becomes a flawed history lesson of Franco-English relations and the eventual signing of the Magna Carta. When Robin Hood isn’t giving the audience a history lesson it quickly becomes a Gladiator or a Braveheart. Unfortunately, we’ve seen this movie more than once and heard the inspiring speeches too many times for it to save Robin Hood.

Russell Crowe riding a horse as Robin Hood

Robin Hood? Braveheart? Gladiator? It’s all the same in this Ridley Scott movie.

Scott’s Robin Hood is a prequel of sorts to the Robin Hood tales. Robin Hood doesn’t need a prequel and it definitely didn’t need a prequel that essentially changes the Robin Hood tale we’ve all come to know and love. It’s a shame too because the Robin Hood cast is spectacular. When will ever see Cate Blanchett, Max von Sydow, Russell Crowe, and William Hurt in a movie together again?

ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS (1993)

Let’s just put this out there right now: Mel Brooks is one of the funniest people to have ever walked the face of the earth. Period.

If you know anything about Brooks’s movies you know he likes to poke fun at movies and genres that seem to have gotten too big for their own britches. Some people may argue RH:PoT is so bad it’s a parody of itself, but it’s still prime for the Mel Brooks treatment.

Cary Elwes as Robin Hood

Brooks doesn’t pull any punches in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Nothing in RH:PoT is off limits. Lines like Robin Hood (Cary Elwes) telling Prince John (Richard Lewis) people listen to him because unlike other Robin Hoods he has an English accent are direct jabs at  RH:PoT. I’d like to think the chastity belt Marian (Amy Yasbeck) wears throughout the movie is in response to the attempted rape scene in Prince of Thieves. It’s through Brooks’s lens we can fully appreciate the wretchedness of the source material.

RH:PoT wasn’t meant to be a comedy, Men in Tights is pure comedy. Is it Brooks’s funniest movie? That title would have to go to Blazing Saddles or History of the World Part I or Young Frankenstein or The Producers.

ROBIN AND MARIAN (1976)

If Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood (2010) is a prequel to the Robin Hood mythos Robin and Marian its sequel. Robin (Sean Connery) and Little John (Nicol Williamson, Excalibur) return home after years of fighting with King Richard (Richard Harris) in the Crusades. Nottingham has changed since they’ve been gone and not for the good. Prince John (Ian Holm), now King after the death of Richard, is still up to his petty games with the Sheriff of Nottingham (Robert Shaw).

Sean Connery as Robin Hood being helped by Audrey Hepburn

Robin and Marian is like the Grumpy Old Men of the Robin Hood movies. Robin, Little John, Will Scarlett (Denholm Elliot, The Indiana Jones trilogy) and Marian (Audrey Hepburn) are past their primes. However, that doesn’t stop them from trying to right the wrongs in old Nottingham.

It’s an older movie with zero special effects, but it’s still a better movie than Robin Hood 2018.

ROBIN HOOD (1973)

If your childhood was like mine and millions of other children it involved a lot of Disney movies. Some kids today may not remember a time when Disney was producing actual hand drawn animated features. One of those non-computer generated films was Robin Hood.

Disney’s Robin Hood is more or less a traditional retelling of the age old story with a few minor tweaks. Like most of Disney’s animated films animals take the place of humans. In this case, Robin is a fox. A fox, like the character in the ballad, is a sly, cunning critter. A fitting creature to go after Prince John, a lion, and the Sheriff of Nottingham, a wolf.

Robin Hood is a little more tame than other versions on our short list, but it is a Disney film geared more towards children and families. It’s a fun little movie to watch and even do a little reminiscing of days gone by. It’s a classic and you if you haven’t seen it watch it now.

What Does the Future Hold for Robin Hood?

We are well past the point of whether or not Robin Hood was a real man living in Sherwood Forest or a character in a ballad. Robin Hood, like other characters who have survived the test of time, is no longer the property of the original storyteller. These characters are now the property of the person re-telling their stories however that story may turn out.

Does anybody really want a Robin Hood movie? At best Robin Hood movies are hit or miss. At the worst Robin Hood movies are boring because we have seen it all before. If more Robin Hood movies are made in the future they should be so distinct and different to separate themselves from this most recent fiasco.

If you really, really need to see a Robin Hood movie keep the money you would spend at a theater and rent The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) starring Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland. It’s a classic.

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Molly: Wasteland Superhero https://www.amindonfire.com/molly-wasteland-superhero/ Sun, 04 Nov 2018 02:34:57 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9517 It's not Mad Max. It's Molly and she's super charged in an apocalyptic wasteland.

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It’s hard not to like Molly. First, it’s set in a post-apocalyptic land. The apocalypse is fertile landscape for someone with a creative mind. The ideas can range from the wasteland warrior driving a truck to a better place to a speeding train heading towards rebellion to a loner posing as a postal carrier to a father trying to get his son to the coast. One thing most apocalyptic movies have in common is the directors go for a gritty, dark tone. Directors Colinda Bongers and Thijs Meuwese chose to use bright comic book colors for their movie.

One draw back of bright colors is everything looks new. If it’s the apocalypse things should look old. At the very least things should look broken and abused. It may be a small detail, but the small details can sometime detract from the overall narrative. Fortunately there’s other things going for Molly than a brand new canteen hanging from a belt.

Molly gets ready to fight

Molly, wasteland warrior with an edge.

Molly has all the trappings of the post-apocalypse. Molly is the proto-typical wasteland warrior. She scavenges the land for food and supplies, has a loyal pet, and fights marauders and other bad types. Along the way she even manages to befriend an orphaned girl.

Whats’s an apocalypse without a lead bad guy? Deacon controls a small empire based on drugs and supplicant fighting. A supplicant is someone who has been drugged and turned into a zombie like creature. These creatures are thrown into a pit to fight each other to the death. It’s like Aunty Entity’s Thunderdome but without the wheel. Of course, Deacon wants Molly to fight in his pit.

Unlike a Max Rockatansky or Vic (He would be from A Boy and His Dog), Molly has some crazy comic book super powers to help her through the wasteland. How she got these powers is a mystery only hinted at during flash back scenes. The flashbacks show brief glimpses of experiments being conducted on her while she’s strapped to a table. Did the experiments create the powers or did she already have powers? We may find out the true cause in a sequel, but what we do know is her powers are activated under duress. We may also learn how her name has become legend.

Meuwese’s Molly is not perfect. The performance range from good to average. The stand out is Joost Bolt who plays the already mentioned Deacon. It feels like he had more fun playing the crazy than the other actors had with their roles.

Molly and friend

The fight scenes are clunky. Maybe with a fight choreographer and more time to practice the fight scenes would have been more natural. As it is, you can actually see some of the the actors pause before swinging a sword and leaning in to take a punch.

On the positive side, the actors are allowed to fight. There’s no Marvel comic book movie quick edits or fast cuts like in the Transformers franchise. The viewer can actually tell whose fight whom. It’s refreshing to see a fight scene not chopped to bits. The camera is placed in one spot to let the scene play out. We don’t need multi-angle, fast cut fight scenes.

Molly, according to a recent tweet from Meuwese, is the directors first feature length movie. Don’t let the fact scare you away. A director’s first film should not be the basis for judging a director’s future career. No one could have guessed the first time director of Bad Taste would one day win an Oscar for Best Director. Is there anything about Dementia 13 that would make anyone think the director would direct the greatest American movie ever made?

Deacon slapping his head in Molly

Intentional or not, Molly feels like a throw back to the apocalyptic movies of the 80s (Think Blood of Heroes, Cyborg).  That’s not a bad thing. Molly, like those movies, can be cheesy and silly at times. Molly is also a fun film. The fight scenes are entertaining, there’s a couple of special effect shots that are especially cool, and even the acting grows on you.

The second reason to like Molly, or at least give it a chance, is it’s an independent movie. Independent cinema is all about men and women with a shared vision and a can do attitude getting a movie made. Cinema lovers should support independent movies and independent movie makers as often as we can. The Avengers Part 4, the many Dwayne Johnson movies sure to come out,  and all the other big budget blockbusters can take care of themselves.

an orphan in Molly

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The Night Eats The World https://www.amindonfire.com/the-night-eats-the-world/ Mon, 29 Oct 2018 03:01:44 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9458 The Night Eats the World gives the zombie movie a well needed shot in the arm.

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(SPOILERS BEYOND) One could argue we’ve reached peak zombie and started down the back end slide of a well loved horror genre . There were a lot of zombie movies made after Night of the Living Dead was released and there have been a lot made after 28 Days Later revived the genre.

Saying there are too many zombie movies or we have reached peak zombie is like saying there are too many action movies. It’s true. There are more action movies than you can shake a stick at. However, we never say there are too many action movies. Why? Even as one fails there are few behind it that tell a good story or bring something new to the table.

a cat in the zombie movie The Night Eats the World

We haven’t reached peak zombie. There doesn’t have to be a  peak if directors and screen writers try to do something different, something new with a genre that has grown stale (Look at The Walking Dead‘s ratings for this season). Something different and new is exactly what director Dominique Rocher and screenwriter Jeremie Guez have done with The Night Eats the World.

Waking Up Alone

The Night Eats The World is about Sam who, like Jim in 28 Days Later, misses the zombie apocalypse. Sam wakes up after falling asleep at an ex-girlfriend’s party to find the world changed and not for the better. Sometime during the night something happened to turn everyone in Paris into zombies.

Searching hallways in the zombie movie The Night Eats the World

Sam’s introduction to the new world is his ex-girlfriend lunging for his throat. It’s at this point we see the something new and something different from The Night Eats The World we don’t see in other zombie movies. Instead of heading out into a ravaged Paris, Sam stays in the apartment building.

A Feeling of Isolation

Sam secures the apartment and then the apartment building. Like anyone at the end of the world, Sam raids every apartment he can for supplies. Staying in the building may not seem like a radical departure from other zombie movies, but think about those other zombie movies.

Most zombie movies or television series have a couple of things in common. There’s usually a reason or a hint of a reason why normal people turned into flesh eating zombies. The other thing they have in common is the first thing the main character does is set off down the road in search of other survivors.

Sam talks to himself in the zombie movie The Night Eats The World

The Night Eats the World chucks those two things out the window. Sam isn’t interested if anyone else survived. He’s not interested in leaving the confines of the building. Sam says later he thinks he’s safer inside than he is outside. It’s a hope he clings to even as his supplies run low.

It’s this self isolation the movie does so well. Sam’s world becomes the apartment, the building, and the things he finds in the building. A drum kit found in an apartment, a makeshift sound lab to create music, and an MP3 player become his sole outlet of expression. His only interaction is with a zombie trapped in the building’s elevator.

A Break From Reality

The passage of time is marked by the change of the seasons. We see Sam’s physical change,but we also see mental changes in Sam. He starts to carry on full conversations with his zombie friend. His nightmares become more vivid and the need for human contact grows. Sam risks going outside the apartment building to lure a cat, the only living thing he has seen in months, into the building.

Sam’s ultimate break from reality comes in the form of Sarah. Sarah repeats to him that he’s not safe inside the apartment building. She’s seen others like him and none of them fared very well. Sarah represents all of Sam’s fears. Fears that have been building inside him the entire movie.

Zombie trapped in an elevator in the zombie movie The Night Eats The World

Finally, in a self-destructive fit Sam escapes the building. Unlike other zombie movies this is not the happy ending Sam wanted. It may not be the ending viewers are use to either. Most viewers want to see the heroes of the movie saved from the zombie hordes. It gives us hope. The ending of The Night Eats the World is not happy.

Limited Dialog

Much like 28 Days Later, and even The Walking Dead, Sam never utters the word ‘zombie’. In fact, Sam doesn’t say a lot in The Night Eats the World. The dialog consists of his conversations with a zombie and an imaginary friend. The lack of dialog fuels the isolation Sam already feels. Many people say they could get along just fine by themselves. The fact is without human interactions a lot of us would be feeling loopy like Sam too.

Final Thoughts

If you’re looking for a zombie movie with guns, explosions, and lots of rotting corpses walking around harassing survivors you should look somewhere else. The Night Eats the World won’t deliver these things. What the movie will deliver is a well scripted and well acted movie willing to do something different. It will also deliver tense moments and scares not seen in other zombie movies.

Sam looks at the roof tops in the zombie movie The Night Eats The World

The Night Eats the World isn’t looking to scare you with the typical run in with a zombie while going to a grocery store. The Night Eats the World gets into your brain. The scares are more in your imagination and what may be coming for Sam.

What The Night Eats the World won’t deliver is a rosy, everything is going to be okay ending. The ending is the complete opposite. Sam manages to swing across to another building’s rooftop. The rooftops, as Sarah mentioned, may be the way Sam saves himself, but the final look on Sam’s face says the complete opposite.

Paris rooftops in zombie movie The Night Eats the World

The Night Eats the World is a must see for fans of zombie movies and for fans of character driven movies.

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Horror Anthologies Worth Your Time https://www.amindonfire.com/horror-anthology-worth-your-time/ Wed, 24 Oct 2018 22:43:12 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9429 We like horror movies. You like horror movies. It’s like we’re a match made in cinema heaven. What’s better than one horror movie at a time? How about a horror movie with more than one horror story contained between the opening and closing credits? Of course, we’re talking about the horror anthology. Some good anthologies […]

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We like horror movies. You like horror movies. It’s like we’re a match made in cinema heaven. What’s better than one horror movie at a time? How about a horror movie with more than one horror story contained between the opening and closing credits? Of course, we’re talking about the horror anthology.

Some good anthologies have been released in the past few years. Here are just  a few of our favorites and a couple to avoid. Let us know if you have a favorite anthology on Twitter or our Facebook page.

Ghost Stories

Technically, Ghost Stories isn’t an anthology. At least it’s not an anthology in the sense we have been trained to think of an anthology. Except, that’s what’s so deceptive about Ghost Stories.

Professor Goodman, the last name is more deceptive than we’re lead to believe, debunks paranormal activity and practitioners of the supernatural for a living. He even has a television series where he debunks something every episode. He’s totally convinced there’s nothing going bump in the night and the things we do see are products of our mind. His motto is “The brain sees what it wants to see.”

The three cases in the horror anthology Ghost Stories

The movie starts like an introduction to one of Goodman’s episodes (the opening of more traditional anthologies use the same technique, but with someone more like the Crypt Keeper).During this introduction we meet Goodman’s childhood hero and another paranormal debunker Charles Cameron. Cameron, who has contacted Goodman to meet him at his trailer home, gives Goodman three cases for him to investigate. The purpose of these cases is to show Goodman there really is something on the other side of the living world.

These three cases are some of the scariest and most nerve racking tales put on film. Tony Mathews, a night watchman at an old factory, is terrorized by the ghost of a dead girl. Simon Rifkind in case two seems like an autistic teen or someone suffering from paranoia. Except, he’s neither one of these things. Poor Simon has seen things no one should have to see. Case three features Martin Freeman (Sherlock Holmes) as Mike Priddle. Priddle’s case is the disturbing tale of a wife who wanted a child at any cost.

Martin Freeman in the horror anthology Ghost Stories

The Last Key

It’s the last case that connects all the other cases. Priddle’s case also explains why Goodman has been seeing some of the paranormal he so admittedly denies. What should give the whole story away is how, when trying to open a shed door, Priddle asks “Why is it the last key that always opens things?” Why? Because Riddle is the last key.

There’s a lot going on in Ghost Stories. Clues and hints are dropped along the path the more perseptive viewer will pick up almost at once. You’re not let down in the least at the big reveal in the end. Ghost Stories is one of the best anthologies, and one of the best horror movies, to come out in quite sometime.

XX

XX proves women can create horror movies just as good as men. The four stories in XX each run about twenty minutes. Like a good short story, the episodes don’t waste time on the frivolous. The episodes are tight, well acted, directed, and pretty darn creepy.

The Box from horror anthology XX

It would be difficult to say which story is the best. Every segment has its own unique style. “The Box”, a story of hunger, is some of the finest psychological horror you’ll find in a short movie or a full length feature. “The Birthday Party,” starring Melanie Lynskey (Castle Rock), is a dark humor comedy of errors. “Don’t Fall” finds a group of hikers who accidentally unleash something they should have left alone . In “Her Only Living Son” a mother fights a dead beat father’s influence over her son.

Trick ‘r Treat

Traditional horror anthologies have a host, like the Crypt Keeper, doing an intro and an outro for each story. Trick r Treat abandons the traditional host. Instead of a host the little terror known as Sam appears in every episode. He, “it” may be a more appropriate word, is the spirit of Halloween. Sam’s primary function is to make sure people are respecting the Halloween traditions and punishing those who don’t.

Sam from horror anthology Trick r Treat

Werewolves, zombies, and killers populate the small un-named city in Trick r Treat. Director Michael Dougherty and editor Robert Ivison seamlessly blended and wrapped one story in Trick r Treat into the next. In a Tartanino-esque move, the beginning of the movie is the end. It makes an already great anthology better and separates itself from other horror anthologies.

ABCs of Death

ABCs of Death is unique in the horror anthology category. Twenty six directors from around the word were given a letter of the alphabet. Their mission was to create a short movie based on word starting with the given letter. The only requirement was the story had to be about death.

horror anthology ABCs of Deatg

All twenty-six shorts were shot on shoe string budgets. Some of the segments look like they were made on the cheap while others seemed to have made the most of the budget ( “V if Vagitus The Cry of Newborn Baby”). The segments run the gambit of quality from great to the miserably put together.

T id for Toilet in horror anthology ABCs of Death

Overall, ABCs of Death is novel. The execution by some of “the world’s leading directors in genre film” is not novel. The movie’s saving grace is the fast forward button. The reason it’s on our list is because you can skip to the letters you like. Out of twenty-six episodes there should be something for everyone.

Tales from the Hood 2

Admit it. You liked the original Tales from the Hood. Director Rusty Cundieff and producer Spike Lee return for another round of tales.

Tales from the Hood horror antholgy

Tales from the Hood 2 comes off more like a bad version of Crash than a horror anthology.We know, or at least the great majority of us, know racism is wrong. At every turn Tales from the Hood 2 rams the message down our collective throats. It gets old quick and doesn’t add to the over all quality of the movie.

The “Good Golly” episode lets us all know about systematic racism. It also drives the point home we’re all racists- black or white. Being racists we all need to be punished even if it means giving birth to tiny golly dolls. “The Sacrifice” reminds us all of the sacrifices made by Civil Rights pioneers, but doesn’t explain why the lead character has to die because he’s a Republican.

The two episodes that don’t pander to the audience are only decent. “Date Night” is about two sexual predators who troll the internet to find women to rape. The tables are turned when the skeezy men learn the women they met on Tinder are vampires. The hot vampires use the internet to lure men into their home to kill. There’s probably a message in this segment too. Except, Tinder is an app used to “hook up” with people. It’s not that date rape has never occurred when two Tinders hook up, but the whole point of the app is to connect two willing people for a hit and quit it encounter. Oh, well.

Vampires from Tales From the Hood 2 horror antholgy

You never know who you may meet on Tinder.

“The Medium” is about a dead drug dealer who posses the body of a television medium. There’s nothing new to see in this segment. The television medium is a fake until drug dealers threaten his life if he can’t channel the spirit of a dead drug dealer. Of course, the dead drug dealer possess the medium’s body.

All is not lost. The always excellent Keith David plays the role of the storyteller. David tells the stories to an overtly racist, white, rich guy. Of course, the racist white guy pays the ultimate price after David reveals his true identity.

Tales from the Hood 2 may not be everyone’s cup of tea. However, if you liked the original anthology you’ll like the second.

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Zombie Series Better Than The Walking Dead https://www.amindonfire.com/zombie-series-better-than-the-walking-dead/ Wed, 10 Oct 2018 21:17:51 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9205 The Walking Dead is on its way out, So where are you going to get your zombie fix? Check out these shows for a quick fix.

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(Spoilers ahead)We don’t have any inside information or a crystal ball telling us The Walking Dead is on its way out. However, we only need to look at what’s in front us to see the future isn’t as bright as it once was for the series. Viewership of the zombie series has been steadily declining over the past few seasons with only a bump in ratings for particular episodes.

It was reported a few months ago everyone’s favorite worst leader ever, Rick Grimes, would be exiting the series. Andrew Lincoln told the crowd at this year’s SDCC why he wasn’t returning to the series that put his name on the acting map. Lauren Cohan will also be leaving the series sometime during season nine.

Both actors claim they’re not done with their characters. What this really means is anyone’s guess. It could even be a massive AMC stunt to keep viewers tuned into season nine. Remember when showrunners, producers, and AMC  let everyone believe Glenn Rhee was dead and even announced the character was dead until they finally killed off him for good?

Surviving Post Lincoln?

The series could easily survive without Cohan returning as Maggie. Maggie’s character was never full developed as anything more than Glenn’s wife. Last season saw her character come to the forefront, but she was almost MIA in the second half of the season. The series surviving without Andrew Lincoln is a different matter. Lincoln’s Grimes was the lynch pin that held the series together. Wherever we turned or whatever episode was airing, Grimes was in some form or fashion front and center.

The series will have a difficult time recovering and AMC will have a difficult time convincing its dwindling fan base to continue the journey into the zombie apocalypse with out Lincoln Grimes…uh…Andrew Lincoln. It remains to be seen if Norman Reedus can carrying the show on his shoulders. The outlook is not looking good for a once unstoppable juggernaut of basic cable television.

Now that The Walking Dead is on its last leg where can a self respecting zombie fan turn? Let us show you.

Freakish

Freakish is a Breakfast Club meets Degrassi High meets any movie where toxic gas turns humans into monsters mashup. Unlike the gang at Shermer High School these detention students are in fight for their lives.

Freakish starts when the local chemical plant blows up spreading a toxic cloud across the city. Anyone caught in its path is turned into a zombie. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, the detention school gang is caught between the relative safety of the high school and the toxic zombies outside trying to get into the high school.

Freaskish cast run down a hallway escaping zombies

They need better hallway vision

To make matters worse, a quasi-military group may be at the center of the accident that caused the toxic cloud. They’ve got their sights set on the school and one student in particular, Grover Jones. Jones and his scientist father may be what breaks the whole mystery wide open.

The all teen cast seems a little far fetched and they are way more sophisticated than teenagers in real life have ever or will ever be. Violet, the obligatory badass of the group, can make bombs and sleeping gas with the basic tools found in a high school chem lab. Diesel, the tough guy with a heart gold, can read detailed blueprints. Barrett is a tech genius who also happens to be a multimillionaire.

a zombie in Freakish freaks out

Bad makeup day

Don’t let the fact that Freakish’s target audience is between the ages of 15-21 scare you away. The acting is solid. The plot rivals anything seen in other zombie series. There’s even a little Chad L. Coleman from The Walking Dead to round things out.

No word yet whether Hulu is renewing the series for  season three. It wold be a shame if the third season didn’t see the light of day. The final episode of season two will you leave you asking a lot of questions and wanting more.

Z Nation

Z Nation is produced by The Asylum, the company behind such classics as all six Sharnado movies, Atlantic RimThe Terminators, and Alien Predator. The Asylum’s modus operandi is to take a successful movie or movie franchise change the script and title enough so it’s similar to the movie being copied, but not enough  to get sued (They have been sued in the past).

a zombie baby teething in Z Nation

It’s a cute zombie baby. But still a zombie.

It wasn’t  long after The Walking Dead exploded into the pop culture stratosphere the Asylum and creators Karl Schaefer and Craif Engler turned their sights on zombie series. Schaefer and Engler stole everything they could from The Walking Dead for the first couple of episodes. However, the series has since found its own footing.

Z Nation works because it doesn’t take itself serious. For every serious moment in the series, like being trapped inside a casino on Indian land while a horde of zombies is heading their direction to a nuclear bomb being detonated, there’s a ball of zombies getting bigger as it rolls over more zombies. The Z Nation crew have had run in with drug dealers, a Mexican cartel, and even the Chinese Army. You never know what you may see in an episode of Z Nation.

Yes, Z Nation can be a bit corny at times. There’s only so many times in one episode you can hear “I grant you mercy”  before it starts to sound like fingernails dragging across a chalkboard. All that being said, Z Nation has become one of the best zombie genre series to air on television.

The Murphy and 10K from Z Nation kiiling zombies

The Murphy and 10K

You can catch the new season on the SyFy network and past seasons on both Amazon Prime and Netflix.

iZombie

iZombie is about a wanna be surgeon, Liv Moore, scratched by a zombie during a crazy boat party fueled by drugs and energy drinks.What’s a wanna be surgeon turned zombie in need of a steady diet of brains to do? Become an assistant medical examiner for the Seattle police department.

iZombie is a basically a police procedural. Every episode somebody dies and it’s never too difficult to figure out who the murderer is in every episode. What separates iZombie from other police procedural is Moore’s unique zombie ability. After she eats a brain (the brain food prep rivals almost anything you’ll see on a cooking show) she gains the memories of the former owner and adopts their personality. Moore eats their brain, gains the most convenient parts of the deceased’s memories, and helps solve the murder.

Liv Moore gets scratched by a zombie in iZombie

It’s just a scratch. What’s the worse thing that can happen?

The best thing about iZombie is Rose McIver. Not only does McIver play the already mentioned Liv Moore she also takes on the traits of the deceased. She bounces from being a hip hop rapper to a Jack Ass type prankster to a dominatrix with a comfortable ease. It’s the people Moore inhabits that make the common place procedural more tolerable and even entertaining. Later episodes have other actors trying to do the same thing, but not with the same success as McIver.

In season four the series takes a little darker tone. Fillmore Graves, a private military group, turns almost all of Seattle into zombies. It’s a departure from the silliness of the first three seasons. After three seasons of solving murders it takes some time to get use to the idea of a serious iZombie. It doesn’t work for the series, but newer viewers may like the struggle between the good zombies trying to save Seattle and the bad zombies trying to keep it closed off from the rest of the United States.

Live gives a zombie look in iZombie

a zombie named Liv Moore. Get it? Get it?

Alas, season five is iZombie’s last season.

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The Cinema of Revenge https://www.amindonfire.com/cinema-of-revenge/ Sat, 06 Oct 2018 18:17:40 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9334 Revenge is dish best served cold...with a lot of hot lead.

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Revenge. It’s an act as old as the bible. Cinema, from the begining of the medium, has explored the theme of revenge. Whether revenge is played for comedic effect as in The First Wives Club (1996), or part of a life and death struggle like in The Revenant (2015), or when the system is failing like in The Brave One (2007) it’s always a dish served cold.

Upgrade (Spoilers ahead)

Blumhouse, known for its releases of the Insidious movies and the more recent Academy Award nominated Get Out,  has had some misses, but for every miss the production company has had its had just as many successes. Upgrade, the company’s first foray into science fiction, is one of those success.

Set in the distant but familiar future, Grey Trace (Logan Marshall-Green, a less beefy looking Tom Hardy) is the last of the gas engine mechanics. Of course, being a mechanic he’s adverse to most technological advances, like self-driving cars. However, this does not stop him from having a wife knee deep in the tech trenches.

Trace of Revenge blood on his hands in Upgrade

A revenge movie isn’t a revenge movie if there’s nothing or no one to seek revenge against. Upgrade begins when Trace and his wife Asha’s (Melanie Vallejo) self driving car goes haywire and crashes into the worst part of town. Waiting outside the crashed car are armed men ready to cause the couple harm. Trace is left crippled from the neck down and Asha is murdered.

Upgrade stumbles with cliches during the first half of the movie. It’s not until later we find out the reason behind the couple’s car going haywire, but for much the film it goes unaddressed. We can only assume it’s another case of a car breaking down in the worst place in town cliche. Why? Because there wouldn’t be a story if the car broke down in the suburbs. After Trace has been diagnosed as a paraplegic he’s approached by tech genius Eron Keen to be a guinea pig for his new STEM invention. The idea of walking again and having the use of his arms isn’t enough for Trace to accept the offer. So Keen drops the tried, trued, and cliched “What would she (his murdered wife) want?” Of course, the next scene we see Trace undergoing surgery. After the surgery no named doctors tell Trace and Keen not to expect immediate results. Shocker of shockers there’s immediate results.

Trace being questioned in Upgrade

Why do police officers always investigate the victim in revenge movies?

Once the cliches are out of the way, Upgrade takes off. One of the reasons Upgrade succeeds is Marshall-Green’s performance. It turns out STEM is an AI chip that takes control of Trace’s body. The challenge for Marshall-Green was to act like something is controlling his body without his performance coming off as someone acting like he has no control over his own body. It’s a feat he pulls off with scary effect.

The fight scenes are some of the best put on film in ages. Thankfully, these scenes aren’t over edited and chopped up like all the fight scenes in Marvel movies. When will Hollywood directors take a cue from some of the great karate movies- leave the camera alone, let the fight play out. How many edits on top of edits in a Bruce Lee movie have you seen? Exactly.

Trace gets revenge

Revenge isn’t always pretty

Fight scenes and revenge killing scenes aside, even though they’re pretty darn cool, Upgrade also succeeds because it’s probably one of the only revenge movies where the protagonist doesn’t want revenge. Yes, Trace wants revenge and he even gets some payback, but he never gave himself completely over to the idea of revenge. It’s too late when he learns STEM has taken over his body to continue where Trace left off.

The ending you think is coming during the final showdown doesn’t materialize. Whether you saw the ending coming or not it’s nice to see a movie end in a non-Hollywood way. Trace may have gotten his revenge against the thugs who murdered his wife, but at what price?

Revenge

Revenge, as the title implies, is a movie about revenge. More importantly, it’s a movie about good old fashion payback. Jen, portrayed as a typical sexy young woman with the lack of clothing to match, is raped by her boyfriend’s hunting partner. Things don’t seem like there going to go Jen’s way after Jason, the boyfriend, pushes her off a cliff and she’s impaled on the only tree for miles. So it would seem.

Coralie Fargeat’s Revenge can be viewed as an another entry in the rape/revenge films started with the original I Spit On Your Grave (1978)Revenge is also a fantasy film. Most revenge movies do involve a certain amount of fantasy and who could blame the director or screenwriter for wanting to extract a little revenge? At some point in our lives most of us have wanted to get some kind of revenge. However, most of us do not act on our impulses and those unfortunate enough to have faced great trauma must wait to find justice in a courtroom, if they find justice at all.

Jen gets off a helicopter in Revenge

I’m a Barbie Girl in a Barbie world

You can tell from the beginning Revenge separates itself from the other rape revenge movies. The first thing you will notice is the color palette and lighting choices Fargeat and cinematographer Robrecht Heyvaert use in the film. Instead of dark colors and shadows, Fargeat and Heyvaert have chosen to use bright colors throughout the film. The colors and lights pop off the screen. It’s safe to say Revenge with its quick cuts and a peyote trip thrown in for good measure is unlike the rest of the movies in this sub-genre.

You can’t ignore the fact Jen, and by proxy actress Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz, is stunningly beautiful. Most directors would be tempted to play up her sexuality throughout the movie. A lesser director would highlight and draw attention to her assets over the brutal payback she’s exacting against her attackers. Fargeat doesn’t shy away from the fact her leading actress is gorgeous nor does she try to cover her beauty. In fact, as the film moves closer to the end the less clothes Jen is wearing. In one particular scene the camera zooms in on her tight shorts. You would have to be blind not to notice the bottom half of her buttocks hanging out of her shorts.

Jen takes aim in Revenge

Hell hath no fury…

To some the lack of clothing on an attractive woman may be a cause for celebration. Except you won’t even notice Jen’s tight shorts or skimpy top. As Jen’s clothes become skimpier her revenge gets more brutal and Fargeat clothes her in blood and guts. It’s so far from sexy you’ll find yourself concentrating more on Jen’s transformation than her skin. By the end of the movie she is unrecognizable as the hot blonde sucking on a lollipop we first meet. By the end of the movie Jen has been transformed like the phoenix (although I would like to think it’s an Aztec war bird) on the beer can she uses to sear her wound closed. The Barbie Doll has been replaced by a killer.

Is Revenge the first revenge movie in the Time’s Up era? Only the viewer can decide. However, the answer to that question may depend on how you would answer Jason when he says, “Women always have to put up a fucking fight.”

Jen about to get her revenge

(But what’s with all the ants in the movie? Recent studies show even ants get a little revenge now and then)

Death Wish

Hollywood loves remaking classic movies. The original Death Wish, starring Charles Bronson, spawned four sequels before Bronson ran out of thugs to kill on the big screen. So it was only natural Hollywood would pull the franchise out of the mouth balls.

Quentin Tarantino acolyte Eli Roth helms this unremarkable remake. The first question is why would a movie be released about vigilante killing in the middle of one the United State’s biggest gun debates and a month after the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School?

Bruce WIllis points a finger in Revenge

Someone should really get revenge on the person who is green lighting all these remakes.

Production and release dates have been pushed back before  in the wake of tragic events. Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man was delayed because it had one brief scene with the Twin Towers in the shot. An episode of the popular Mr. Robot was delayed because the episode was too similar to a reporter who had been shot on camera days before the episode was to air. Even the Ben Stiller comedy Neighborhood Watch didn’t escape being affected by the Trayvon Martin shooting. So, it was possible for the studio to delay the release of the movie.

The studio and Roth had a chance to at least do something different with the overall premise and theme of Death Wish. However, they didn’t. Instead they cast Bruce Willis as a doctor and a father whose wife is murdered and his daughter is left in a coma after a violent attack in there home.

The point of these movies is that we have to believe the lead actor or actress has been a victim. Willis doesn’t come off as a victim or even someone grieving the loss of his wife. Willis never delivers on the role of victim or as a victim who stops being a victim and takes things into his own hands. His performance comes off as insincere.

Bruce Willis looks at his daughter in revenge driven Death Wish

Fun fact: You won’t be released from the hospital the same day you come out of a months long coma

Besides Willis’s stale acting he comes with a lot of action hero baggage. How many movies have we seen Willis plow through armed bad guys with machine guns, handguns, and hand grenades? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is a lot. The combination of stale acting an action movie pedigree makes it difficult to believe Willis was ever a victim fighting for his family when the police did nothing.

If we can’t believe the performance the movie falls apart. For example, we believe Kevin Bacon in Death Sentence because he came off as vulnerable, a fish out of water who has bitten off more than he can chew when he goes after the gang who murdered his son. Death Sentence succeeds on the acting of Bacon while Death Wish fails on the acting of Willis.

The second question about Death Wish is what kind of message the movie is sending? Although Detective Raines (Dean Norris, Breaking Bad) says some off color comments about killing homeless people he seems genuine in wanting to solve Willis’s string of vigilante killings. As it turns out, and you would never have put it together from the evidence presented on screen, Raines doesn’t care who is killing criminals in the city. Basically, the moral of Death Wish is you can kill a lot of people and get away with it if the detective in charge doesn’t really care about due process under the law.

Hollywood, in the future if you’re going to remake a movie like Death Wish, which you will, try casting against type. How different would Death Wish been if an actor like Hamish Linklater (Legion) or Justin Long (Tusk, Jeepers Creepers) were cast in the lead role? Totally different and in a good way. Also, if you’re going to make a movie like this make sure the audience knows the repercussions of the actions.

Bruce WIllis and Elizabeth Shue in the revenge driven Death Wish

Didn’t Elizabeth Shue have anything better to do with the 10 minutes she wsa in Death Wish?

Nietzsche said, pardon the slight paraphrasing, be careful when hunting monsters you don’t turn into a monster yourself. The point is you may turn into the same thing you’re trying to destroy. Even if you don’t turn into a monster yourself you may still find revenge once sated may not be as sweet as you. imagined.

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The Future World of James Franco https://www.amindonfire.com/future-world-of-james-franco/ Sun, 26 Aug 2018 02:13:38 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9252 James Franco delivers a fun and wild ride into the apocalypse with Future World.

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(Limited Spoilers Ahead) James Franco has been quite busy over the past few years. He’s starred in big Hollywood productions (Why Him?), small passion projects (The Disaster Artist), critically acclaimed television (The Deuce), independent movies you’ll likely never see (As I Lay Dying, Child of God, The Sound and the Fury), and soon even another comic book movie (Multiple Man). More recently Franco has jumped into the world of B(ish)-movies and the post-apocalyptic American landscape with Future World.

Lucy Liu as Queen in Future World

Lucy Liu pretty much stays in bed the entire movie, but it’s Lucy Liu so it’s okay.

Future World‘s story and plot is simple. Prince (Jeffrey Wahlberg), with two “loyal subjects,” leaves possibly the only oasis to be found in an apocalyptic world to save his sick mother, Queen (Lucy Liu, Charlie’s Angels). Along the way Prince is befriended by a really hot, sexy, killer android named Ash (Suki Waterhouse, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) who also happens to have killed his companions. The two are hounded by Franco’s Warlord who’s hellbent on getting Ash back before Prince can finish his mission to find Queen’s cure.

Suki Waterhouse and James Franco in Future World

In the future, all androids will be sexy af.

Franco may be wandering into B-movie territory, but only slightly. Future World‘s budget may have been half of, a somewhat generous guess, than some of his Hollywood movies. However, Future World isn’t your average B-movie. Franco and his partners Jay Davis, Bruce Thierry Cheung, and  Jeremy Cheung have created a world where anyone can be royalty and an android searching for her soul can find love. It’s a slick mix of high adrenaline action movie and a movie about self-discovery.

James Franco as Warlord in Future World

James Franco’s Warlord spends a lot of the movie talking in a box.

Franco’s performance as the crazed Warlord is a perfect fit for the movie’s B-movie feel. However, it’s Milla Jovovich as Drug Lord, the only person who can give Prince the cure for his mother, who steals the second half of the movie. We’ve seen her play the action hero jumping and spinning in the air with guns blazing more than once in her career so it’s nice to see her acting against type. Suki Waterhouse plays Ash almost as a new born child. Her performance isn’t stiff like someone acting like a robot, but someone who is expernicing everything for the first time. Method Man,  Snoop Dogg as Love Lord, and even Rumor Willis make appearances in the movie.

Milla Jovovich as Drug Lord in Future World

She’s crazy. She’s drugged up. It’s Jovovich like you’ve never seen her.

Calling Future World a Mad Max knock-off, as some have, is just plain lazy. Yes, Future World is set in an post-apocalyptic setting, motorcycles race across barren landscapes, and crazy raiders in a crazy get ups harass and kill people. But Future World owes just as much to Mad Max as it does to other post apocalyptic movies like A Boy and His DogCherry 2000, Cyborg, and 2017’s The Bad Batch, also staring Suki Waterhouse. It’s all those movies wrapped up in a nice little package.

Suki Waterhouse as Ash in Future World

She may be made of plastic, metal, and circuits, but Ash is more human than most humans in Future World.

Future World may not win over anyone who’s not already a  fan of the post-apocalyptic genre (Young Adult novel readers aside). The movie may not convince anyone who is not already a fan that Franco is actually one of the best actors of his generation. If we can accept a director like Quentin Tarantino jumping from genre to genre and if we can accept a director  taking credit for creating those genres (Tarantino’s production company is even named after a classic Jean-Luc Godard movie of the same name) why can’t we accept Franco has a director and actor pushing movie bounds? At the very least, watch Future World for the crazy, over-the-top action in a B-movie world.

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Funko Pop Goes Dark With Black Phillip https://www.amindonfire.com/funko-pop-goes-dark-with-black-phillip/ Sat, 11 Aug 2018 23:26:04 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9214 Funko Pop brings the most evil Pop in its horror line to toy shelves everywhere. You've been warned.

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The Funko toy company makes vinyl and plastic figures under the brands Vynl, Vinyl Idolz, Rock Candy, Dorbz, Mystery Minis, Retro (Current comic book and movie characters made to look like action figures from the 80s), Fabrications, Mopeez, Legacy Collections, and Hikari. There most famous toy line, the line responsible for their rise in the toy industry and the one most people know, is the Pop.

The Pop, like most of Funko’s figures and bobbleheads, are cute, stylized versions of the properties they’re based on. Funko has the property licenses for almost every movie, comic book, video game, and cartoon property you can think of and some you have never heard of before. Basically, they have a license for almost everything under the sun and rumor has it they may have the license to the sun too. Be careful, they may buy the license to you next.

Funko Pop does Black Phillip

Wouldst though like the taste of butter and pretty dress?

It’s not unusual for Funko to make a Pop from properties that weren’t hits or blockbusters, but those properties usually have some sort of nostalgic attachment to them. No one would confuse The Sandlot as a mega blockbuster. However, over the years it has gained quite the following. Pops based on the movie are rolling off the assembly line right now.The Witch: A New England Folktale wasn’t a box office smash. It didn’t gain traction until the movie was released on blu-ray and streaming services.

The Witch was one of the best movies released in 2016. It is also one of the most singularly disturbing, and some would say terrifying, movies to come out in the 21st Century. The Witch is about a family in 17th Century America banished from their colony over religious differences. The family’s life on their new land goes from bad to sinister to evil. The Witch is a story of black magic, witches, paranoia, and selling your soul to Satan. Leading, for the lack of a better word, the way into demonic possession for young Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy) is the goat Black Phillip.

Black Phillip as designed by Funko Pop

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

There’s no other Funko Pop as evil as Black Phillip. Black Phillip is the Devil. You can call him Satan or any other religious name you want to call him. You could argue Pinhead,an angel of Hell or a demon, from the Hellraiser franchise may have been creepy at one point in time. Somewhere along the way, probably after the second movie, the Hellraiser franchise went from tearing souls apart to adventures in space. It’s not really the thing that strikes fear into anyone.

Even the Pops based on the Halloween, Friday the Thirteenth, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre aren’t creepy or scary. These franchises were scary at one point in time. After countless sequels, ridiculous plot twists, and ridiculous ways to keep the main characters coming back for the next installment (Jason being brought back to life by lightning) no one would consider these movies scary. There’s no immediate reaction to the Michael Myers or Jason Voorhess Pops except for that it may be a cool Pop or you want it to complete a collection.

Black Phillip Funko Pop

Like 99% of Pops, Black Phillip won’t stand on its own.

Black Phillip on the other hand is anything but cute. The Black Phillip Pop brings the movie immiedatly to mind. You can hear Black Phillip say, “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?” The traditional huge head Funko uses on their Pops only serves to make the Pop more demonic appearing. The yellow eyes aren’t as cute as they are on other Pops because you associate those eyes with the Devil in The Witch.

Why is the Black Phillip Pop more disturbing than the other Pops in the horror line? It could be The Witch hasn’t become a parody of itself like the other Pops in the horror line. When you see the Pop your mind immediately goes to the movie. You not only see the scenes of Black Phillip tempting Thomasin, but you also see the scene of her brother vomiting up an apple and the scene of the witch killing a child. No other Pop can recreate scenes do vividly for the fans.

Get the Black Phillip Pop now. Odds are it’s going to be “vaulted.” Vaulted is Pop collector speak for Funko’s not making it anymore. The price is going to sky rocket when Funko vaults Black Phillip. So, if you want to pay thirty or more dollars plus shipping wait to get the Black Phillip Pop. If you want to spend a reasonable amount of money then buy it now. Either way the Black Phillip Pop will be a wicked cool addition to your collection.

The yellow eyes of Black Philip by Funko Pop

I will guide thy hand.

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Ash Vs. Evil Dead’s Ashy Slashy Gets The Puppet Treatment https://www.amindonfire.com/ashy-slashy-gets-ash-vs-evil-dead-puppet-treatment/ Sat, 28 Jul 2018 13:35:03 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9173 NECA gives Ashy Slashy from Ash Vs. Evil Dead the real world treatment.

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Ash Vs Evil Dead has come and gone. Yes, three wonderful and amazing seasons have come and gone. Evil Dead fans shouldn’t be mad or disappointed Bruce Campbell will never play Ashley J. Williams again. Between Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2: Dead Before Dawn, Army of Darkness, and a heck of a lot of video games Campbell has been Ash more than thirty years.

Ash Vs Evil Dead was special to a lot of, if not all, Evil Dead fans. For starters, we didn’t think we would ever see Campbell reprise the character again. Ash had been absent for quite a long time (No, I’m not counting comic books. As fun as comic books may be Bruce Campbell wasn’t Ash in the comics) before Starz greenlit the series. A series of any kind was excellent news for fans.

Baal plays Ashy Slashy in Ash Vs. Evil Dead

“You can suck my saggy bills, Baal.” -Ash

Ash Vs Evil Dead was a return to the fun of the original trilogy. Thankfully, the series bypassed the 2o13 Evil Dead remake. The Evil Dead was never meant to be a blood orgy or torture porn horror. To be sure, there was a lot of blood splashed around three seasons. A lot. Blood fountains and people covered in blood were almost a requirement in Ash Vs. Evil Dead. Did we mention severed body parts? Yes, we had our share of body parts too. None of the blood and body parts were meant to make people sick or disgusted like the remake. The blood and gore harkens back to the Evil Dead when the budget was low and Raimi and company had to be creative to get the gore on screen.

(Some little spoilers ahead) Season two episodes seven (“Delusion”) and eight (“Ashy Slashy”) finds our hero in an insane asylum designed by the demon Baal to break Ash. The plan was simple. Baal breaks Ash. Ash destroys the Necronomicon and unleashes Baal’s Hell on earth. It’s a simple plan except Baal didn’t take into consideration Ash’s tenacity and the fact his amigos never leave a friend in need.

Puppet therapy in Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Ash under goes through puppet therapy

Introduced in episode seven is the puppet Ashy Slashy. The use of puppets in the treatment of of psychological disorders isn’t a new technique. The theory is the patient can tell the puppet things he or she may not be able to tell others and come to grips with their anxiety or other issues. Baal used the puppet technique to convince Ash the nightmare he had been living for more than thirty years was just a nightmare. If he could convince Ash to come to terms with his past then he could convince him to destroy the Necronomicon.

Now you too can own your very own Ashy Slashy puppet courtesy of NECA. NECA has been producing some awesome action figures and statues based on fandom’s favorite properties. Ashy Slashy is NECA’s first foray into the plush puppet market.  I’ve never had a puppet of any kind so comparing the Ashy Slashy puppet to other puppets isn’t possible, but to borrow a phrase they hit it out of the ballpark.

NECA's puppet Ashy Slashy from Ash Vs. Evil Dead

“I hate puppets. Even stunningly handsome ones.” -Ash

The details on the puppet is pretty spot on. The first thing that hits you as you open the box is Ashy’s large head. On screen his head doesn’t look like it would be out of proportion to the body. Ashy Slashy the puppet has a rather large head compared to the rest of his body. The reason for the larger head is it can accommodate hands of all sizes.

The large head also means we get a little more of the finer details of the Ashy Slashy puppet. When you pull the puppet out the box the button eyes stare right at you. You can’t miss the hair with the gray hairs. The shirt is a complete replica of the one Ash’s wears in the series. The finer details include stitching on the pockets and along the back of the shit. Ashy’s shirt includes real buttons.

NECA's Ashy Slashy Puppet from Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Finer details of the Ashy Slashy puppet

The box states the arms are poseable “with inner articulation.” I can’t say exactly what that means, but what I can say is be careful when posing the arms. The left arm moves up and down and back and forth without any problem. The right arm, the chainsaw arm, only moves up and down. It feels like if the arm were bent in any other direction it would break. Don’ break Ashy.

You don’t have to be a puppet master to enjoy the Ashy Slashy puppet. A cardboard tube insets into and makes it possible to display with your other Army of Darkness/Evil Dead/Ash Vs. Evil Dead stuff.  It may clash with some of the more bloody hardcore horror things you may collect, but it’s one a heck of conversation starter.

Ashy Slashy from Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Your hand will fit nicely up the puppet hole

Ashy Slashy is available now at most of your better online stores. You may want to check eBay if you can’t find it on those other retail sites, but be prepared to pay two to three times as much (not including shipping).

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The Apocalypse Doesn’t End Very Well In How It Ends https://www.amindonfire.com/apocalypse-doesnt-end-very-well-in-how-it-ends/ Sun, 22 Jul 2018 22:50:10 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9142 How It Ends-The apocalypse according to Netflix.

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(SPOILERS AHEAD. You’ve been warned) If you’ve been paying attention to Netflix you’ve notice the streaming service has released a lot of originals over the past year and a half. Quite a number of these original series and movies have been either dystopian (Altered Carbon) or apocalyptic (Cargo, The Rain) in nature. Netflix’s newest outing into the apocalypse How It Ends is another trip into the apocalypse.

With a few exceptions, The Walking Dead comes to mind, entries in this genre want to explain what happened, how it happened, and what lead to the end. How It Ends is slightly different from other movies in the genre. There’s a broken transmission over a radio asking if World War III had broken out and near the end  of the movie Jeremiah (Mark O’Brien) puts forth the theory everything happening is a conspiracy put in motion by the government, but for the most part director David Rosenthal (A Single Shot) and screenwriter Brooks McLaren are content with letting the movie play out leaving the audience to wonder what exactly is going on in the world.

Things fall apart rather quickly after the opening credits end. There’s enough time to introduce characters Will Younger (Theo James, Divergent), his pregnant girlfriend Samantha Sutherland (Kat Graham, The Vampire Diaries)  and her overbearing retired military father Tom (Forest Whitaker, Black Panther). After that Tom and and Will set out on a cross country road trip to save Samantha who’s trapped in Seattle. The “road trip” is what makes the movie work.

Nicole Ari Parker is missing from the Apocalypse in How It Ends

(Not an HIE photo) Nicole Ari Parker’s Paula is nothing more than a blip of a character.

Like all the better road trip movies the two main characters learn a lot about each other over the course of their trip. Unlike your traditional road trip movie the characters don’t bond over old times or drinks, they bond over staying alive in an America that is being shattered by freak storms, erupting volcanoes, and violent highwaymen trying to take everything they have including their lives.

How It Ends constantly reminds us how bad people have gotten since the end started. We’re bombarded with scene after scene of the wicked depths people have stooped to at the end of the world. Sometimes character development takes a back seat in these types of movies. However, these scenes serve to show how Will changes from the first time we meet to the end of the movie.

Road trip movies are often more about the supporting characters and the affect they have on the main characters. Would Harry and Tonto have been as much fun without all the characters the two meet while on the road? As much as the Man and the Boy in The Road try to avoid people the people they meet ultimately affect the Boy’s outlook on the world he lives in.

Grace Dove as Ricki in How in Ends

Although it feels like the character of Ricki (Grace Dove, The Revenant) was forced into the story (Who leaves home with two strangers while the world is ending? ) she serves much the same purpose as other characters in road trip movies. Ricki comes into Will and Tom’s life and changes Will’s attitude towards the situation they have all found themselves in. Ricki’s view of the world is in direct conflict of the military minded Tom.

How It Ends is about fifteen minutes longer than it needed to be. Did we need more evidence of how Will changed from the beginning of the movie to the end? Did we need more examples of how people turn rotten when the end is near? It was made painfully clear during their first stop to get gas humanity was taking a turn for the worse. The introduction of Jeremiah, the jealous neighbor who helped save Samantha, seemed forced into the end. Like the fact that we knew Samantha was alive we knew Jeremiah was going to try and kill Will.

Forest Whitaker and Theo James in How It Ends

Tom and Will take a well deserved rest

Overall, How it Ends is an entertaining movie. The movie didn’t stumble and kept a brisk pace. It’s enough to keep the viewer entertained. At the very least the last scene is truly a brilliant piece of CGI.

A volcano erupts in How It Ends

Will and Samantha race to escape an exploding mountain.

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Bus Party To Hell https://www.amindonfire.com/bus-party-to-hell/ Mon, 11 Jun 2018 01:24:34 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9105 There may be easier ways to get to Burning Man, but none as much fun as this road trip from Hell.

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(Hey, Chosen Ones, spoilers ahead) I don’t know everything about Burning Man. I know it started years ago with a couple friends and has since grown to epic proportions. I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of nudity, sex, drugs, and naked bicycle riding. I’m positive Burning Man is a safe, judgement free place where you can let your freak flag fly. It all sounds fun, but first your got to get there. For the gang in Bus Party to Hell getting to Black Rock City is easier said than done.

A group of partiers heading to Burning Man in Bus Party to Hell

“Dead. A side effect of being murdered.”

There must be a dozen or so ways to get to Burning Man. The group of strangers in Bus Party to Hell decided to rent a bus, hence the name, and make a road trip out of it. That was their first mistake. The second mistake was letting the driver get off the highway to take a “short cut.” First rule of horror movies, nothing good happens when you leave the main road. Nothing. Second rule of horror movies, one way or another your vehicle is going to stop and or break down once you’ve left the main road. Third rule of horror movies, a lot of bad stuff is going to happen after your vehicle stops or breaks down.

True to horror movie rules the bus driver, who turns out to be a cult member herself, stops the bus in the middle of no where. Shortly afterwards the bus is attacked by cult members. What cult you ask? Who knows? This cult though is looking for the Chosen One who just so happens to be riding on the bus. Some of the wannabe Burning Man revelers are killed, some hauled off to somewhere, and one is even sacrificed.

Bus Part to Hell is full of all sorts of  crazy shenanigans. There’s almost under-age sex with Lara, the future Chosen One (Don’t worry they waited until midnight when she officially turned eighteen). Heads are ripped off bodies, hearts are torn out of chests, and the bus keys are even cut from the bus driver’s stomach (Don’t ask me how she swallowed a entire set of keys). There’s silly dialogue (“The hills have eyes, ears, noses, and throats”) galore .Basically, it has all the elements of a B movie turned up to eleven.

Don’t discount Bus Party to Hell as another B-movie. Yes, it’s low budget, but that doesn’t make it a bad movie. It just means everybody involved in the movie had to work harder and be more creative than if they were working on a movie with a special FX budget in the hundreds of millions of dollars. This hard work shows in the final product.

Ivy and Reese head off to Burning Man in Bus Party to Hell

“Who’s still up for Burning Man?”

Bus Party to Hell is a fun movie. Fun is an adjective thrown around a lot about movies when there’s really nothing else to say, but in the case of Bus Party to Hell fun is the best word to use. It’s a little horror and it’s a little comedy. The story and the movie never takes itself seriously. In fact, it makes fun of itself during the movie. So, if you’re not offended by campy blood and boobs, lots of boobs, sit back for an hour and a half and just enjoy the ride. Check it out on blu-ray June 12th, VOD now, or rent it from Redbox

(And if all this isn’t enough there’s Sharknado’s Tara Reid! What does her character have to do with Bus Party to Hell‘s over all story? We’re not really sure, but we want to see more. If they make a prequel or spin off it has to be how Reid’s Darby got to the desert and cut off her friend’s head.)

Tara Reid fights mummies in Bus Party to Hell

“I hate mummies!”

 

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Solo A Star Wars Story Soars High https://www.amindonfire.com/solo-a-star-wars-story-soars-high/ Wed, 30 May 2018 03:00:54 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9074 Solo: A Star Wars Story debuted over the holiday weekend. Although the box office numbers are not as high as expected that shouldn't keep Star Wars fans from seeing the movie.

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(Hey, Resistance Fighters, there are major spoilers ahead) He was a pirate, a smuggler, and a scruffy looking nerf hearder. He did the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs. We use the past tense because, of course, Han Solo is dead. When has death kept movies or comic books from revisiting or, at times, bringing characters back to life? Never. Thanks to the magic of Hollywood prequels, director Ron Howard, and screen writer Lawrence Kasdan we get to see Han Solo’s life before he became a hero of the resistance.

Die hard Star Wars fans haven’t been happy since it was announced Alden Ehrenreich was cast as the younger version of Han Solo. No doubt they would have preferred Ansel Elgort from Baby Driver. Elgort spent much of the movie wearing a Han Solo style vest. If that’s the criteria Star Wars fans have set to play Han Solo then count me in as the new Boba Fett because I still have my Halloween costume from decades ago.

Han Solo waiting a trade with Nest

Ehrenreich, much better than most fans are willing to admit.

What these “fans” don’t understand is the Han Solo in Solo: A Star Wars Story isn’t the same Han Solo we first meet in Star Wars: A New Hope. Fans wanted the jaded, out for himself Han. Fans wanted the smart aleck. They wanted the Han who could imagine a lot of money for saving a princess from the clutches of the Empire. What they got is a much different Han Solo.

Ehrenreich’s Solo is a man who hasn’t been beaten down by the universe yet. There’s hope in him that he and Qi’ra will get off Corellia. He’s optimistic he will return and save her from a horrible life. Han stays optimistic, even after one bad thing after another happens, right up to the very end.

Han and Qi'ra race through the streets of Corellia in Solo: A Star Wars Story

They live happily ever after until they don’t.

At then end of the movie, Han learns the hard way what Tobias Beckett had been telling him through the entire movie. It wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination that over the next ten years or so those lessons would be reinforced and relearned time and time again. Maybe buried somewhere deep inside him is a spark of hope that turns a bitter pirate around to clear the way for Luke Skywalker to destroy the Death Star.

But even that explanation isn’t enough for some people. Forbes writer Erik Kain’s  says,” It’s quite the physical transformation from one to the other with less than a decade of aging, and it might be difficult to suspend our collective disbelief, even if the film wants us to assume that Solo is much younger than Ehrenreich.” Transformations aside, anyone could age badly if you’re living as a smuggler, out running imperial cruisers and have a price on your head. We can’t speak towards the height difference between the two Solos except to say they’re two different actors. However, no one ever made these complaints about the number of James Bonds there have been over the years.

Tobias Beckett and Han Solo discuss a plan

Tobias Beckett, turning Han Solo into the Solo we would all come to know and love

The legitimate complaint or question would be how many years does Solo: A Star Wars Story take place before Han and Chewbacca are swept up in the fighting the Empire? A lot of writers with more time and Star Wars material than I do place the movie somewhere between 10 and 13 years before A New Hope. Ten years may be enough for someone to become jaded against the universe, but is it enough time to gain a reputation as smugglers? Are we to assume Han and Chewbacca have been running around the galaxy for ten years with a price on their heads? And are we also to assume the first time we see Lando on Bespin is the first time Han and Chewbacca have seen him since the end of Solo: A Star Wars Story?

As much as die hard fans hated Ehrenreich as Han Solo fans’s reactions were overwhelmingly positive when it was announced Donald Glover had been cast as Lando Calrissian. When Lando was first introduced in The Empire Strikes Back he easily became the coolest man in the universe. Sure, he betrayed Han, Chewbacca, and Leia to Darth Vader, but he had style and class doing it.

Lando plays Han at a game of Sabbac

Even cheating at cards Lando is one cool customer.

If Billy Dee Williams (the original Lando) was cool walking around wearing a cape, Glover brings the character to another level of cool. To be fair, Lando’s screen time in both The Empire Strike Back and Return of the Jedi was limited compared to other characters in the franchise. So, to compare the two Landos wouldn’t be fair to either Glover or Williams.

Glover gets to flesh out the character in a way Williams never could with the script given to him. When we first meet Lando in Solo: A Star Wars Story he’s already a well established character in the criminal underworld. What’s not too clear is how old he is during the movie. At first glance, Lando looks to be about the same age as Han. However, he keeps call Han “kid.” Some folks will want to use this word and compare it to how Han will call Luke Skywalker the same thing many years later. However, the word is usually used when talking to someone much younger than yourself. Again, are we meant to believe Lando is old enough to be calling anyone a kid?

Chewbacca from Solo: A Star Wars Story

It’s not wise to upset a wookiee.

Of all the returning, or re-introduced characters in the Star Wars movies Chewbacca is perhaps the most underrated and underappreciated character of them all. He’s played second fiddle in most of the Star Wars movies. He’s had his moments, but they’re few and far between. He didn’t even get a medal for helping destroy the first Death Star. At the end of The Force Awakens and all of The Last Jedi it felt like he was there because he was partners with Han Solo.

It’s nice to see Chewbacca come into his own as a character with a back story, more screen time, and more dialogue. Solo: A Star Wars Story is the first time since A New Hope Chewbacca actually feels like he’s part of the story. Heck, we even get to see him rip the arms off a man.

Han give Chewbacca a knowing glance in Solo: A Star Wars Story

Friends for life.

Solo: A Star Wars Story filled in a lot of holes for the non-Star Wars book reading crowd. We learned that joining the Imperial Army and Academy is as easy as signing a piece of paper. This could explain why Stormtroopers’s aim is so bad. We learned it wasn’t Han who cheated at Sabbac to win the Millennium Falcon. We also learned a lot of people over the last forty plus years have been pronouncing Han’s name wrong. There’s even a little poke at George Lucas’s retooled Star Wars showing Han didn’t shoot first. Thankfully, Lucas won’t be able to go back and edit Beckett shooting first.

Solo: A Star Wars movie may not be for everyone. Even the most die hard fans may not like it for no other reason than the casting choices. One can only feel sorry for them not wanting to see the movie. It’s a little gangster movie, a heist film, a little romantic, and it even has a little wild west vibe. Overall, Solo is fun movie. We can’t wait to see what the sequel has in store for us. Perhaps there will be more Lando. How about some Boba Fett or maybe we will learn if that was really Darth Maul at the end.

Lando bets everything in a game of Sabbac during Solo: A Star Wars Story

You should all be all in to see Solo: A Star Wars Story.

 

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Road Trip In The Movies https://www.amindonfire.com/road-trip/ Mon, 21 May 2018 03:00:30 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=9011 It's road trip season again and another round of road trips in the movies are looked at and reviewed. One is an older movie, one is about an old man, and one is set in a future none of us want to see.

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It’s a safe bet to make, absent of any freak snow storm, Summer is settling quite nicely in the United States. Technically, Summer starts June 21 but with tempatures across the United States hitting averages in the high 80s it would seem Spring took the year off.  With the warm weather our thoughts once again turn to the age old ritual of hitting the open road and taking a road trip to anywhere. As much as we would love to take each and everyone of you on our next wandering it’s just not possible. Instead, let’s take a look at a few of our favorite road trip movies.

HARRY AND TONTO

Some of us plan our road trips out to the tiniest detail leaving no margin for error. Some of us go on the spur of the moment and yet others, like Harry, are forced to go on the road because they have no other options.

Harry carries Tonto across a busy street in Harry and Tonto

“The strangest thing about being old is all your friends die.”- Harry

Director Paul Mazursky (Scenes From a Mall) opens Harry and Tonto concentrating on the claustrophobia of the big city. People walking up and down the streets are shown bouncing off each other in a hurry to get wherever they are going. More importantly, the inhabitants he focuses the lens on are senior citizens. It’s an old city inhabited by old people and in the center is Harry (Art Carney, The Honeymooners) .

It would have been easy to paint Harry as a scared retiree living in the big city. However, Mazursky’s movie paints Harry as anything but a scared retiree. He’s seen the city change and he’s been mugged  more than once by the same mugger. Harry may be practical and maybe a little stubborn, but not scared. Harry’s stubbornness and his cat Tonto is what sends him on his country trip.

It wasn’t Harry’s original plan to hit the open road to California. The original plan was to go by plane. However, that was derailed when airport security wanted to put Tonto through the airport’s x-ray machine. The next plan was to take a bus. Alas, Tonto ran off during a bathroom break.

Tonto chills on the dashboard going down the road in Harry and Tonto

From the beginning to end, Tonto is with Harry. Without uttering a line of dialogue Tonto is one of the most important characters in Harry and Tonto

From there Harry and Tonto go on the road trip Harry wanted to take all his life, but was unable to because life, as they say, got in the way. Along the way, Harry and Tonto meet some unusual characters. There’s Ginger, the teenage hitchhiker, who runs off with Harry’s grandson Burt Jr. He gets a healing ceremony from Sam Two Feathers (Chief Dan George, The Outlaw Josey Wales) who he meets in the Las Vegas drunk tank after being caught urinating in public. He even gets a little “company” from Stephanie the Vegas hooker.

Released roughly five years after Easy Rider, Harry and Tonto is the antithesis of the nihilism found in Easy Rider. You won’t find any of the anti-establishment themes in Harry and Tonto found in Easy Rider nor will you find characters living on the edge or the anger that courses through the Easy Rider.

Harry and Tonto driving towards Vegas with Stephanie in Harry and Tonto

The first time in a long time. Why not with a Vegas girl?

Harry and Tonto came out during the early days of the United State’s withdrawal from Vietnam, but deep in the controversy coming out of President Nixon’s White House. Early in the movie Harry asks the corner newspaper salesman “Who’s president this week?” The vendor answers, “Who cares?” With dark days behind the United States and gloomy days ahead, Harry and Tonto greet this new America with open eyes and heart. Harry doesn’t judge anyone he encounters on his trip to California. In fact, he learns just as much from them as do they from him. By the time he reaches California he’s ready for a fresh start to the next chapter in his life.

Art Carney won the Best Actor Oscar for his role as Harry. The achievement is quite impressive when looking at the other films and actors nominated in the same year. Carney received the award over Al Pacino (The Godfather II), Albert Finney (Murder on the Orient Express), Dustin Hoffman (Lenny), and Jack Nicholson (Chinatown).

THE PUFFY CHAIR

Josh learns the hard way you can be ripped off on Ebay

The Puffy Chair

Jay and Mark Duplass have been called the kings of mumblecore cinema. What is mumblecore? Basically, it’s a silly name for low budget film making. You wouldn’t be wrong in confusing a movie in the mumblecore genre with one of the many “lost footage” movies. Shaky camera shots for no other reason than to have a shaky camera, ridiculously extreme close ups, and bad camera angles are hallmarks of both genres. All these bad movie making options are on display in The Puffy Chair.

The Puffy Chair, written and directed by the Duplass brothers, follows Josh (Mark Duplass), girlfriend Emily (Katie Aselton, real life wife of Mark Duplass), and Josh’s brother Rhett as they travel from Atlanta to New York to pick up a purple puffy chair bought on Ebay.

Unlike traditional road movies where the main character or characters meet other people along their travels the trio make a pretty straight line from Georgia to New York. The Puffy Chair is more about what Josh, Emily, and Rhett learn about themselves and each other while on the road trip than the road trip itself. The one notable stop results in Rhett being married for a few hours before the marriage ends. The fallout of Rhett’s marriage highlights problems in Josh and Emily’s own long relationship.

Josh raises a boom box over his head to win back his girlfriend in The Puffy Chair

When in doubt most Gen Xers rely on the Say Anything to move to make up with their girlfriends.

One of the better aspects of the mumblecore genre are the performances. More often than not the performances are more natural compared to movies in other genres. When Emily has a random breakdown, for unknown reasons, you actually believe Katie Aselton is having a breakdown. Sure, you don’t know why but it feels authentic and Duplass’s Josh comes off as a guy who doesn’t really know if he wants to marry Emily. As bad as the direction, or lack of, is in The Puffy Chair the acting is that much better.

(One very cool note: The Duplass’s real parents play Josh’s onscreen parents and have producing credits on the film.)

THE STRAIGHT STORY

Most road trippers take their journey by car, motor cycle or even motorhome. Alvin Straight on the other hand took his road trip from Laurens, IA to Mt. Zion, WI on a John Deere riding lawnmower.

Alvin and Rose look up at the stars in The Straight Story

Sissy Spacek doesn’t get tenth of the recognition she should as one of the best actress working today. Although she has limited screen time The Straight Story is one of her best roles.

Seventy three old Alvin Straight (Richard Farnsworth) starts his road trip after learning his estranged brother Lyle (played by Harry Dean Stanton) has had a stroke. Unable to drive himself and unwilling to have anyone else drive him, but needing to reconnect with his brother Alvin goes by the only mode of transportation he has- a green John Deere riding lawnmower.

Like Harry, Alvin meets a lot of people along his 300 mile trip to Mt. Zion. Although you won’t find a Log Lady or a Frank Booth, the supporting cast is just as important to the movie as Alvin. It’s through the stories told to the supporting cast we learn more about Straight, his past, and his family. By the end of the movie the viewer has as much invested in his trip as Alvin. We’re relieved to find Lyle is still alive and the breach between the two brothers may be healed.

Alvin and his new friend share their experiences in WWII in The Straight Story

As Alvin and his new friend share their experiences in WWII screams, gun fire, and the sounds of war are being played like a soundtrack.

David Lynch directing a movie distributed by the Walt Disney Company seems like something right out of a Lynch film, or at the very least a Cronenbergh film. But that’s exactly what happened with The Straight Story and it’s only against Lynch’s tapestry of other movies that the Disney distributed The Straight Story seems odd. In reality, The Straight Story is Lynch’s most touching movies to date.

Although Richard Farnsworth didn’t win the Academy Award for Best Actor, that honor would go to Kevin Spacey for American Beauty, Farnsworth did become the oldest person to be nominated for Best Actor.

Alvin and Lyle reunited at the end of The Straight Story

“You don’t think about getting old when you’re young. You shouldn’t.”

THE ROAD

Sometime in the future the unimaginable happens. Nuclear War has devastated the United States and left a blasted landscape and broken people in its wake. This is John Hillcoat’s The Road. It’s not a paradise. It’s not a place you want to visit and it’s not a place you would want to take a road trip. However, that’s exactly what the Man (Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises) and the Boy (Kody Smit-McPhee, Let Me In) have to do if they want to survive.

The Man, who is slowly dying, believes their future lies at the sea. In order to reach it they have to follow the road. The road is dangerous, but any other option is more dangerous for the father and son. Even along the road the duo meet fellow travelers-rapists, criminals, highway men, and cannibals. These aren’t the kind of people you want to meet in the best of times let alone in a time when day to day survival is fight and a struggle.

The Man and the Boy walk down The Road

“All I know is the boy was my charge. And if he was not the word of God then God never spoke.”

Most of the color has been stripped from the movie. Different shades of black and grays and whites dominant the movie. The lack of color in the movie serves to highlight the misery of the world the Man and Boy travel through. It’s apparent from the start this isn’t The Walking Dead’s post-apocalyptic America where there’s always a glimmer of hope. In fact, there’s very little hope to be found in The Road.

There’s very little hope in The Road, but there is some hope. The bond between father and son runs deep. It’s clear the Man loves his son more than anything else in the world and he will do anything to protect. The boy for his part loves his father to the point where he doesn’t he want to leave him after he has passed on. The Mother he meets at the end of the movie offers one last glimmer of hope. She offers the boy a family and a place to belong. In the world of The Road family may be the most important thing left to humanity.

The Motherly Woman greets the Boy at the end of The Road

“I’m so glad to see you.”

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The End of The Walking Dead As We Know It https://www.amindonfire.com/end-walking-dead-season-eight/ Wed, 18 Apr 2018 03:12:07 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=8997 The Walking Dead is showing signs of rot and decay. Can Rick's new world save the series? Will Rick ever stop crying?

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Another season of The Walking Dead has come and gone. What did we learn? First, we learned the second half of season eight wasn’t much better than the first half and didn’t save the season. More importantly, we learned The Walking Dead is limping along to an eventual cancellation.

We learned The Walking Dead can be as saccharine as any family drama seen on the Freeform network. The second half of season eight started with Carl’s death. It was a cheap off screen zombie bite Carl received while killing zombies (something we have seen him do at least 440 times over the course of the series) to honor a vagabond’s mother he met in the woods. Of course, we never see said zombie bite poor Carl. Carl had time somewhere between being bitten by a zombie and becoming a walker to write a bunch of letters. Letters we would hear being read as voice overs, being read in silent with accompanying tears, or being read to other characters. The damn letters had more screen time than Daryl and Jesus combined.

Some guy in the Walking Dead

Who could forget…this guy?

We learned Negan is still the invincible man showrunners set him to be way back in season seven. Yes, nothing can kill Negan. He survived a three floor fall into a basement. He survived ravenous zombies engulfed in flames. He survived the Trash Can Lady with the made up language. He survived traitors within his midst. He even survived having his throat slit!

Let’s take a look at the ridiculousness of Negan’s season ending throat slice. Rick and Negan tumble around for a bit on the ground before Negan gets the upper hand with his phallic symbol Lucille (Named after his dead wife. How very sweet). Except he can’t bash Rick’s head because Rick says, “Carl.” The one word brought nice big tears to Negan’s eyes. If it was that easy to defeat Negan why didn’t Rick try it before? Somehow Rick, blinded by tears he has perpetually shed since season four, slices Negan’s throat at just the right depth as not to actual kill him. It’s an amazing piece of knifemanship. Not only has Rick become a supreme military mind of the post apocalyptic world ( *sarcasm inteded*) he can handle a blade like someone who has been training their whole life.

Daryl wonders why he didn't get more screen time in The Walking Dead

Does Daryl die early in season eight? It’s the only explanation for the lack of screen time.

Rick’s decision to spare Negan’s life wasn’t totally out of left field. Carl’s letters, beaten like a dead horse through the second half of the season, were all about peace, love, harmony, and getting along with each other. With that in mind  and still crying Rick spares Negan’s life. The doctor (What’s his name? Who really cares?),who only a couple of episodes before said he had some “basic medical training,” manages to stitch up Negan’s throat before he dies. I can’t find a decent dentist, but zombie plagued American has more qualified doctors than you can shake a stick at. The training in zombie apocalyptic America must be really great.

Negan was a terror for Rick and the gang for two seasons. Two seasons is about all the series can allot to the bad guy of the moment (See: The Wash, Rinse, Repeat cycle of The Walking Dead). Except, Negan isn’t out of the picture. In Rick’s new world order he will serve as a cautionary warning for anyone who wants to make trouble. Sure, that’s what Rick tells Negan. Let’s face it. You have better odds of winning the lottery than Negan has staying locked in a jail cell.

A nameless doctor helps a blind priest in The Walking Dead

Another disposable character. It’s okay there are A LOT of doctors in The Walking Dead

The last episode of season eight was sweet enough to give viewers an instant case of diabetes. Saviors who only minutes before were ready to kill everyone in Rick’s gang and who had killed before were taken in and forgiven. Tara even gives a nice smile at the end of the season finale to one of the many cardboard characters roaming The Walking Dead landscape (Is there romance ahead in season nine?). Rosita even gives Eugene a playful punch for vomiting on her in a past episode. We could argue she forgives Eugene because he equipped the Saviors with sabotaged bullets. How easily she forgets the bullets he made that were not sabotaged and did kill people. If she could forgive Eugene for being responsible for killing people than we can forgive script writers for Eugene’s not surprising change of heart (Not really but I’m trying to fit into Rick’s new world too). But it’s okay. This is Rick’s hippie free love new world. In this new world Daryl even banishes Dwight instead of killing him for the pain and suffering he caused everyone over the past two seasons. However, not everyone signed up for the Age of Aquarius.

Maggie (Lauren “I still don’t have a contract for season nine” Cohan), however, did not get Rick’s memo. Here’s how season nine will play out. Somewhere at sometime Maggie, Jesus, and Daryl will try to kill Negan. It’s possible Tara and Rosita could also be recruited because both have a bone to pick with Negan. They’ll either fail or succeed. In either case, the group will be fractured into Team Rick and Team Maggie. Everything else that happens in season nine will be set dressing. Team Maggie, following the wash, rinse, repeat cycle, will be around for two seasons.

There was  a time when the season finale of The Walking Dead meant months waiting for a new season to start. Now it means something different. Now we hope the new season will be a little better than the previous season. There’s no more excitement in The Walking Dead to care about a new season. The series has become predictable, stale, and boring. Why bother waiting for another season if all we have to look forward to is more running and gunning?

Negan gives the bird to Rick in The Walking Dead

Sometimes it feels like The Walking Dead is giving the middle finger to all of us.

 

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Lost In Space Crashes On Take Off https://www.amindonfire.com/lost-in-space-crashes-on-take-off/ Mon, 16 Apr 2018 22:15:12 +0000 https://www.amindonfire.com/?p=8970 Netflix's remake of Lost is Space is so boring it will have wanting to see the 1998 movie.

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(Spoilers) Netflix promised a lot of new movies and tv series would be coming in 2018. So far some have been winners (Altered Carbon), some have been good (A Futile and Stupid Gesture), some have been stinkers (The Outsider), and some have been less than promised. Unfortunately, Netflix’s remake of Lost in Space falls firmly in the last category.

Muareen Robinson is smug and smart in Lost in Space

Is she smart? Just ask her. She’ll tell you she is. And she looks down on mechanics.

The original Lost in Space (1965) was based on the novel The Swiss Family Robinson. Like the characters from the book the original Robinsons went out into space looking for a better future. The remake finds the new Robinsons leaving an earth doomed for some reason (Meteor crash? No blue skies!) to colonize Alpha Centauri (Which, for the record, is a galaxy and not a planet).

John Robinson plays back seat to everyone else in Lost in Space

Of course he’s a Navy Seal

When the first episode opens the Robinsons are already in trouble. It’s a pattern that will repeat itself time and time again as season one drags to its ending- The Robinsons get in trouble, the Robinsons get out of trouble, the Robinsons get out of trouble. It’s all manufactured drama to move an otherwise flat and stale series moving along. First it’s the Robinsons’s Jupiter 2 being buried in frozen ice, then it’s John and Maureen being trapped under a transmitter dome (At least they didn’t try to out run the crashing metal tower Prometheus style) followed later by John and Maureen’s chariot (the name they use for a landing craft) being buried in tar.

It's not Mrs. Judy Robinson didn't not not go to medical school to be called Mrs.

It’s okay. She’s a doctor. An 18 year old doctor! The future Doogie Howzer, M.D.

The biggest and worst manufactured crime is the planet the Robinsons and the rest of the survivors of the Resolute, the spacecraft used to take the colonist into space, crash on. It’s a planet near a black hole. A black hole. Could a planet orbit a black hole long enough for life to evolve beyond single cell organisms? Maybe, but it wouldn’t be anything like the Robinsons’s magical planet. The truth is black holes consume anything unlucky enough to cross its path. Even if a planet could survive around a black hole long the black hole in Lost in Space decides to suck in the Robinson’s planet at the right time to create more drama.

Penny Robinson gasps at yet another danger in Lost in Space

Every family has that one child who isn’t as smart as the others. Are you that child?

There are a lot of differences between the remake and the original series. The biggest difference is the size of the cast. In the original series the only main cast was the Robinsons and their pilot Don West along with special guest stars playing one and done characters. A larger cast of characters created for the series means only thing: A lot of extras are going to be killed off.

Don West and the chicken win best actors in Lost in Space

Mark Ruffalo’s younger brother deserves better than being stuck with the Robinsons.

When we see any of the Robinsons in danger there’s a zero percent chance of any harm coming to any of them- Judy Robinson being frozen under ice isn’t a big deal, she’ll be free by the end of the episode. Penny and her friends trapped in a cave full of pterodactyl looking bats attracted to noise, just speak in captions to sneak through the cave. It’s as dumb as it sounds, but none the less showrunners felt the only way to convey what was happening in the scene was through using captions. John and Don’s spaceship blowing up should mean the end of two characters, right? You didn’t really think John and Don died in the exploding Jupiter? Did you?

Will Robinson won't find any trouble in Lost in Space

Danger, Will Robinson? No. There’s no danger. Ever.

Most series on television manufacture drama. The series where the drama is allowed to naturally develop are few and far between. These series tend to have longer episodes and are better scripted. You could almost forgive Lost in Space its trespasses, but the drama and action aren’t creative or original. You don’t watch a lot of television, if any, if you couldn’t predict something was going to be attracted to the survivors tower of light or that Don didn’t die when his Jupiter craft falls off a cliff.

Dr. Smith lounges back in Lost in Space

Sometimes it feels like Parker Posey doesn’t even believe her performance in Lost in Space

If the manufactured drama wasn’t bad enough the series throws Dr. Smith at us. We know from the original Lost in Space Dr. Smith is a liar, a cheat, a saboteur, and a coward. It would have been practically impossible to fool most of the audience into believing the new Dr. Smith was anything different. Instead showrunners created June Harris (Parker Posey). Harris steals the identity from the real Dr. Smith during an attack on the Resolute. All she had to do was take the man’s jacket. Who thought it was a good idea to put a colonist’s credentials in a sleeve jacket? Someone who has never lost a jacket. Harris’s subterfuge lasts an episode longer than needed.

The new Robot from Lost in Space

The new Robby…or just Robot…is possibly the best thing about Lost in Space.

The audience doesn’t need to be convinced Harris is actually Smith. We know Harris’s plan the minute the character is introduced. However, the audience does have to believe the character is pulling something over on the other characters. It takes a great script and good acting to pull this feat off. Lost in Space has neither. Posey, who usually does a much better job, comes off in every scene like someone who is hiding something and is never convincing that she’s an actual doctor. If this were reality someone would have called her out for lying long before Don discovers the real Dr. Smith’s ID. Posey isn’t convincing as someone who is pulling a con.

The Robinsons get out of yet another jam in Lost in Space

The Robinsons, boldy going where no family has gone before.

Netflix hasn’t delivered an adventure series. It hasn’t even delivered a series about a family sticking together through thick and thin. What Netflix has delivered is a ho hum family drama with a large special fx budget. It’s a shame with a cast as solid as the one in Lost in Space something better didn’t find its way onto the screen.

(On the bright side: Oreos, Crown Royal, and the war in Afghanistan are still a thing in the future)

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